November 10, 2018

It seems far off, right?

It's Sam's Bar Mitzvah date. 2 Kislev 5779.
His parasha will be Toldot. It's a good one. One of my favorites.

Sam's 13th birthday is on a Thursday AND it's Rosh Chodesh Kislev. But I figure we'll wait two days until Shabbat to make it more convenient for folks. Time is on our side.

I like to plan ahead.

There will be many many many milestones between now and November 10, 2018.

But this is what I'm focused on right now.
With three rounds down and one to go...a mama has to make plans.

Because even though sometimes God laughs at the plans, they are exactly what we need to keep going. Plans grow from hope. Or perhaps they ARE hope. Either way, it's one of the things that is driving me through all of this.

I'm not going to write about cancer forever. I'm going to write about other stuff - B'nai Mitzvah, weddings, and a whole heap of other good, NORMAL things.

My friend Anne imagined it right at the beginning.

I've latched onto it...it is my beacon. I can feel the handle of the Torah scroll in my hand as I watch and hear him read Torah. I can hear him chanting the brachot. I can even imagine him playing an instrument - some days it's sweet, like a flute. Other days, I cringe when I imagine him setting up a drum-set on the bima. I play it out in my mind. The bagels and kugel. The frog-and-turtle-green kippot. The hand-made tallit with love woven into every stitch. The count - how many years that he has been cancer-free? The tears. The reluctant hugs. The wide smiles.

Mark your calendars now.