{36 Reasons} Make a Mess

(I definitely didn't take into account the "other" bloggy business that I wanted to accomplish during this 36 Reasons to Say Shehecheyanu project. So there's quite a bit of personal creativity involved to get other things to fit into the whole thing...)

I received two products in the mail recently, both involving a whole lot of craftiness.

The first is this Chanukah House from Manishewitz. They are so excited about this product that they're offering big prizes in their decorating contest...check them out on Facebook for contest info.

We are, um, not going to win.
In fact, I feel like we're in a Pinterest-fail-type situation here.

It looked so easy!

Totally not so easy.

We were given wise advice from a friend who has done this before - she told us to make it a multi-day project. Put the house together and then let it sit for a day or two to dry and harden. Good advice.

With my two able-bodied and pajama'ed assistants, we embarked on the building.

Quite a few of the pieces were broken in the box. Oops.

Then, a few days later....we decorated. That was really hard! We didn't quite have the right tools, I think, and we weren't quite prepared for how difficult it would be to make it look pretty.

David wanted to try and make it look like he was eating it.

It looks NOTHING like the box design...which, as I pointed out to my kids, was created by a computer artist. The stuff in the box...eluded me.

Okay, so here's my thoughts on this one.
I just don't get it. I posted about it to Facebook and got mixed comments from friends, some who thought it was really cool and others who were with me in their confusion.

Here's what I don't get:
Gingerbread houses are a tradition that has always eluded me in general. I think of Hansel and Gretel, and I know that they are a traditional Christmas decoration. They don't seem to have any religious significance, so that's certainly not my issue. I tend to shy away from projects that seem to be wasteful of food - I've never really met anyone who eats their gingerbread house. They're pretty but...

Here's the other thing I don't get. Aside from the Chanukiyot (menorahs) that we frosting-glued to the windows, what makes this house different from a Jewish house at any other time of year? I was so excited to affix the little mezuzah (we didn't say the bracha but we talked about it) which isn't just a Chanukah thing. I can't wrap my brain around the question...why a house? If this were a Sukkah kit, I'd get it. If it were a make-a-menorah-out-of-cookie kit, I might get that too. But a house? I'm a little lost on the significance.

In all fairness to my food-wasting concern, we did taste the house after building it. The kids really wanted to and I couldn't see any reason why not. They thought the frostings were awful and the cookie was super hard but tasted like graham crackers. We didn't eat all of it.

Overall, it was a fun project but again...I just don't get it.

The second product that we received in the mail was from Kiwi Crate.
What a fabulous idea - you pay for a monthly subscription and you get a "crate" of projects. If the monthly projects are anything like these - we literally had everything we needed in the box. I added newspaper and a scissors.

There were two projects in the box. We only ended up doing one because it was so much fun! I am planning to try out the other one during Chanukah.

We did Dreidel Spin Art - oh, it was so much fun! Messy, but awesome.

I loved loved loved that we used the crate itself for the spin space - no waste at all. My kids loved it.

Here's how it looked when we opened it.

Then we used up the rest of the paint to make the box beautiful...why not?

This was a fun and messy-but-contained and overall awesome project. All three of my big kids loved it.  (And yes, we did this one in our pajamas too! We only have limited time when Solly is asleep!)

My only complaints? The directions were simple and easy to follow, but there were no "suggestions" or "tips" - as we got started, I suddenly realized that we should put down newspaper. I didn't realize the kids might get paint splattered all over them, and while it did wash out of their hands easily, nowhere have I found information that it actually is "washable" paint. These are minor complaints, we had so much fun! (There is a "messiness meter" on the instruction booklet but it was awfully tiny.)

The other project is a menorah made using modge-podge and (included) LED tea lights. I'm sure it will be beautiful when we make it.

You can send gift subscriptions, or buy it for your own family! You can sign up by the month or for a yearly subscription. There are other holiday crates available too, and plenty of non-holiday stuff.  RIGHT NOW you can get $5 off gift subscriptions (3, 6, or 12 months), the code is GIFT.

Blessed are You, O God, who gives me the opportunity to have fun with my children, to create and do and learn and try and celebrate, who has made soap and water for cleanup and who has brought me to this day.

Being Ima on and off the Bima

Last night, I noticed a tweet from Rabbi Jason Miller, sharing with me an article written on the Forward's Sisterhood blog.

I read it at about 5am, while nursing the baby. A little ironic, no?

It struck me particularly hard, since I have had a little bit of a difficult week in terms of balance. Let me explain.

I'm currently serving on faculty at camp, as you may know. With me at camp are my husband and three children (the oldest is a camper, so I'm not only not responsible for him, I don't even get to see him very much!), and we are accompanied by a teenage babysitter. The babysitter generally shepherds the two older kids to their activities, while my dear husband spends his time with the baby. Often, the baby accompanies me to programming as well, since he likes very much to be the center of attention! Camp is a great place for my family - everyone has something that they enjoy doing, and we fall into a nice routine of sharing our lives with our friends at camp.

For various reasons, my husband kindly agreed to go along on a 3 day camping trip with one of the older units. He left early Monday morning. On Monday, my babysitter started to feel a little ill and began to run a fever...so she went home, ideally just overnight, to speed up her recuperation (she is fine and will be back soon, I hope!). So...I was left all alone with my kids AND my responsibilities to camp. So far, so good. I've weathered this minor storm, my friends have helped out and pitched in, and it's been fine. I am definitely looking forward to both of them returning to share the work, but I am not overly upset about how this has gone. But it's definitely on my mind, making sure that everyone gets what they need from me.

Yesterday morning and this morning, the three kids accompanied me to morning tefillah (prayer). The older two sat quietly during the service (You've got to love the outdoor chapel that makes a little bug hunting during tefillah possible) and the little one was snug in the sling. (I got Sammy to snap this picture for me right before tefillah began, because this blog post was ruminating around in my brain since I had read the article at 5am.)

Note the camp attire (flip flops), baby sling, and tallit. Just another day as the ima on the bima...well, not so much bima at camp. More like tree stump!

I do not know the writer of this article. And I do not actually feel that her post was, in fact, an appropriate response to the post that she cites, a post about young mothers in the rabbinate. Instead, I feel that Chasya-Uriel Steinbauer is trying very much to attack other mothers while justifying her own choices. This is remarkably common and prevalent on the internet - there are so many "mommy bloggers" who want to judge, rebuke, comment upon, and generally dismiss anyone who makes choices different from their own. The comments that I received when I posted this article on Facebook helped me to feel a little less alone when reading Chasya-Uriel's post - it was definitely a case of "I thought it was just me." But I was relieved to know that I am not the only one insulted by her simultaneous dismissal of my rabbinate and parenthood.

She writes:

"I don’t think congregations are concerned with how motherhood might interfere with a mother’s ability to do the job as rabbi; rather, I suspect congregations are concerned with hiring someone who is obviously allowing a rabbinic job to interfere with motherhood. And I have to agree. I would rather see at least one parent at home full-time with her/his baby or toddler — ideally the birth mother, unless the child is adopted. This is what is best for the baby."

Wow. This is quite a statement, Chasya-Uriel. There are some truly remarkable jobs (not just the rabbinate) held by mothers of young children. Do you also feel that mothers should not be doctors, lawyers, professors, social workers, teachers, artists....? And are you honestly telling me that fathers cannot be full-time caregivers of their children, if that is what works for the family? (Oh, and by the way, that IS what works for my family.)

Chasya-Uriel continues: "I do think that ima eventually belongs on the bima."

Ouch. "Eventually"????

And then:

"I agree with Rabbi Levy that all women, mothers or not, should be given the same chance to serve the Jewish community as their male counterparts. But women and men who are parents should be prioritizing serving their babies and toddlers before they prioritize serving the Jewish community. We also need to honor the unique relationship a new mother has with her baby. The attachment formed, especially when breastfeeding, is unparallel to that of the second parents, whether a father or another mother.

We need to allow what rabbinic work we have accomplished up until now to be put on hold, trusting that we will be much better mothers because of our earlier experience as rabbis. If we have set up our lives in which we tell ourselves that we “have” to work or attend school while having a baby, perhaps it is time to reexamine our lives and reprioritize so that we can find a way to be with our children."

Oh my goodness.

I am both a mother and a rabbi. Some days I'm more ima. Some days I'm more bima. (See blog title.) Some days, I'm trying to make it all work. But I don't think I'm doing it wrong. I just know that I'm doing it. I've created four wonderful little people and my husband and I delight in their growth of body and spirit. We definitely juggle, we definitely argue over who goes where and when. My children do not play multiple sports or attend a lot of extra programs. I do serve in small ways on the PTA but I'm not in the classroom helping out. I don't "do it all" but I do what I do. I try to do it all as well as I can, with as much love and attention and energy as possible. My children are washed and fed and cared for and loved by their parents. Most of their care is done by my husband or by me, or by Grandma or Bubbie & Zeyde, or some of our wonderful team of babysitters and friends who help us out. My congregation never fails to share my delight when my oldest sings in the Junior Choir or the baby accompanies me to Torah Study on Shabbat morning. I am often scolded for not having them around, since many people feel love and "ownership" of my children. I feel so lucky and blessed to have so many people who care about the well-being of my children and my family.

There is absolutely no question that I would be a different rabbi if I did not have children. Would it be better for my children? Would it be better for my career? Would it be better for my congregation? Would it be better for the Jewish people?

I strongly believe that the answer to all of these questions is NO.

Dear Chasya-Uriel,
Please enjoy the time that you are spending with your daughter. Cherish every moment. Please know that many people (women and men) who came before you have enabled you to spend that time and make that choice.

Please know that many others have made choices different from yours. I do not judge you for your choice. Please do not dare to judge me for mine. I am intensely proud of the life I lead. I work incredibly hard at all that I do, trying to be the most fulfilled person that I can be - while loving and growing and raising my family. I respect and admire my friends in all forms of their rabbinate - women and men who are juggling and balancing and maintaining remarkable families, careers, lives.

Our choices change over time, we make new decisions based on the situations in which we find ourselves. Lives change. Goals change. Purposes change. Focus changes.

Please remember that like the rabbinate, motherhood comes in all styles.

Enjoy yours.

I am most definitely enjoying mine.

My Inner Bubbie: Mandelbrot

One of the things that my Bubbie made all the time was mandelbrot. If you're not familiar with this cookie, it's basically a Jewish biscotti.

Confession: I'm not a huge fan.

I mean, I like them and all. But they're not my favorite. Too crunchy, too crumbly. Good, but not life-changing.

Confession #2: Not only have I never made them before, I have never seen anyone make them before.

Yep, never followed Bubbie around the kitchen for these puppies. I have perfected her carrot cake, so you can see where my priorities lie.

So when a request was made for mandelbrot, I had to go back to the source. I called my mom, who has both of my Bubbies' recipes (both are, thank God, still living, but neither one bakes any more...in their mid-90s, both of them!)...and she scanned them in for me.

Bubbie Rose:

Bubbie Raye:

Both clearly well-worn and well-used recipe cards. What the heck is Spry? Turns out, it's like Crisco.

So, without any Spry, I knew that oil would be my fat of choice. Then I opened every single Jewish cookbook I own (I think there are about 10), enlisted my mom and my mother-in-law in their recollection of mandelbrot baking, and even made a phone call to Bubbie Rose while baking. I knew she'd kvell that I was making mandelbrot, and I figured it didn't hurt to question an expert...

So here's the recipe I adapted from a conglomeration of sources:

Traditional (?) Mandelbrot

3 eggs

1 cup sugar

1 cup canola oil
1 tsp baking powder
pinch salt
1 tsp vanilla
1 cup chopped walnuts lightly toasted
3 cups flour

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Mix together eggs, sugar, oil, baking powder, salt and vanilla. Add 3 cups of flour and stir with a wooden spoon. (Okay, Bubbie said "use a wooden spoon, or whatever you want to mix it.) Add more flour if you think it's too sticky. If you never made it before, don't add any extra flour because it's probably fine.

Add the chopped nuts, and stir them in.

On a cookie sheet lined with parchment (or greased, but I'm a parchment gal), shape into logs. I think mine were a little too wide.

Bake for about 22 minutes. (The logs above are actually cooked, it's hard to tell.)
Remove from oven, and while hot, slice the logs, like so:
(According to my dad AND my mom, this is the time to "snitch" one off the cookie sheet. I agree. They're really good soft and hot.)

Turn the slices on their sides. Some people sprinkle here with cinnamon and sugar. Bubbie said "I never did that but I know that other people like to." When I questioned her about chocolate chips, she said: "Well, I don't like all that extra stuff in there. But some people like to." She's very open to alternative ideas, my bubbie. Bake for another 15-20 minutes or until they're crunchy and brown.

And there you have your mandelbrot. Mine didn't last long, I brought them in for the Hebrew School teachers. They were well-received. They did not taste like Bubbie's as I recall them...maybe I'll have to try out some Spry.

I plan to make them again this week with my mom, so she can lend a more practiced eye. I think I would chop the nuts more finely, but others said that they liked that there was a bite to the nuts. This experience opened me up to a lot of things I've never made, let alone watched anyone else make. For example, I've never made rugelach, or teigelach, or even keneidlach. I've seen kreplach made, but never done it myself. What other great old Jewish foods are out there that I don't know how to make? I'm a hamantashen maven. So...now I'm going to learn. Rugelach are next in the new series here at Ima on and off the Bima... "My Inner Bubbie." Stay tuned!

By the way, I heard that Creative Jewish Mom was hosting a link-up party for Jewish crafts and recipes today (tomorrow?) so I might update with a link over to that.

The Jewish Mama Meme Maker

Oh thank you thank you, Home-shuler! I needed a post for today and yours is just perfect!

A Jewish Holiday Meme

One menorah, or several? Hillel or Shammai? (just kidding about that part)
We have several chanukiyot. It seems like every year the kids bring home one made from a block of wood and metal nuts. The candles don't fit into those metal things, honestly, people. I know they seem like a good idea. And then I have to figure it out for the whole week...cuz the kids really really want to use the ones they've made and how dare I pooh-pooh their bee-yoo-tee-ful creations!?

Do you buy your children gifts for every night of Chanukah?
We've decided not to give any gifts at all, beginning this year, for Chanukah. The kids will get gifts from grandparents and assorted other people. But not from us. We've decided to give all gifts at Purim instead. It's not only motivated by a desire to get out of the commercial ridiculousness of the season but also the reality that we have November and February birthdays. Enough is enough in gift-land!

Do you and your spouse/partner or any other adults in your life exchange gifts?
Not usually. I do have a birthday at the end of December and usually get a gift...

Special family chanukah traditions?
We eat latkes. We decorate the house. We set up a table in the living room with all the Chanukiyot. As the kids get older, I'm hopeful for some traditions that involve going out and doing for others. They go to bed awfully early now. We also take a "dreidel tag" which is a tradition at our congregation to buy gifts for kids in need through the Jewish Children's Bureau. I usually do a whole big Chanukah blog party too...giveaways and all that.

Latkes or sufganiyot? If latkes, sour cream or applesauce?
Both. Both. 
The more the better, I always say! Last year I made my own baked sufganiyot.  

Favorite chanukah book?
Potato Pancakes All Around by Marilyn Hirsh. I think it might be out of print but I love the peddler who teaches them to make potato latkes from a crust of bread. It's like a Chanukah stone soup!

Do you actually play dreidl? If so, what do you use for counters?
No, not really. But I vote for m-n-m's. Everything's better with m-n-m's.

What relationship, if any, do you have with Christmas and all things Christmas-y?
None.

If you're reading, you're tagged!

Day 12 of NaBloPoMo and I haven't missed one yet!

How Jews Pray

What do you think? How do you pray?

Shabbat Shalom!

A Shabbat Tune....

Click over to read the lyrics.

Shabbat Shalom!