Readiness: The First Parenting Lesson

39 weeks and a little of my office

This was the status I posted on Facebook yesterday:

And many people responded to me with various "tried and true" methods for bringing on labor. One of which was wasabi on toast....

But that isn't exactly what I was hoping for. I don't really know what I'm hoping for.

About a month ago, I wrote this post, in which I said (weird to be quoting yourself, isn't it?)

Nope. I'm not ready cuz the baby's not ready. When the baby's ready, I'll know...that will be called labor. Until then, I'm here and enjoying every minute of this pregnancy.

And it's still true, I still agree with myself.

I think that the most wonderful Jewish wisdom and tradition is not to say "mazel tov" to a pregnant woman, but instead to say "b'sha'ah tova" - not to say "congratulations" but instead to wish her a "good hour." May the baby come when it's good and ready.

Which is really defined as the first lesson in parenting that we as parents receive. Our lack of control over every aspect and element of pregnancy translates exponentially into the lack of control we eventually have over many aspects of our children's personalities, physical traits, skills and abilities. Aside from the usual "man plans, God laughs" idea of it all, there is a deep lesson in this for us to learn to "let go" and figure out what's really important and worth stressing over.

From the very very very beginning.

So the bottom line is? Just because I am ready to have the baby, just because I have all my ducks lined up in neat, pretty, smiley little rows, doesn't mean that the baby is ready. I always say that children walk when they're ready, children talk when they're ready...and they emerge into the world at their time of readiness as well.

I just need to remember it and live it.

Almost There...

38 weeks.
But who's counting?

Havdalah...Separation?

When we said our Havdalah this week, I was struck by a realization that it's completely possible that it was my last Shabbat as the mother of three children.

Then again, I could spend another Shabbat as a pregnant lady...

Mentsch tracht, Gott lacht.

Odd Nesting Behavior

They say that pregnant women "nest" when they're getting close to having a baby.

Some of the odd nest-like things I've found myself doing:
- cleaning out the car (and being frustrated that the car wash was closed on a rainy day. I didn't care about the outside, just wanted a good inner vacuum/scrub! Can't they understand that?)
- becoming slightly obsessed with organizing things, like putting the photo albums in order by date.
- ruthlessly dispensing with anything that remotely seems like it might be ready for the "donation" bin, including any piece of maternity clothing that doesn't quite cover my belly any more.
- stocking up on things that seem like they'll be good to eat after the baby comes
- waking up in the middle of the night and wondering what else I've forgotten to do...and of course, remembering that once the baby comes, those things can still get done.

I'm normally a pretty neat and tidy person, but sometimes I think this gets a little ridiculous. After all, when I went into labor with my first-born, I wouldn't let us leave for the hospital until we had made the bed.

And my sweet hubby obliged me.

(And then made fun of me for the past 9 years about it.)

Counting....

"Wow, are you sure there's only one in there?"

Absolutely.

"You look like you're ready any minute!"

Nope. I'm not ready cuz the baby's not ready. When the baby's ready, I'll know...that will be called labor. Until then, I'm here and enjoying every minute of this pregnancy.

Thanks to my dad for this great photo!

And aside from the look on Yael's face in this picture, which is totally priceless, all the kids are super-excited for the baby's arrival.

And may that arrival be in its own and best time.