#blogElul 25: begin

As the month of Elul comes to a close in a few days, I'd like to use this opportunity to draw your attention to the secular month of September, which begins tomorrow.

Last year, for the very first time, I learned that September is Childhood Cancer Awareness Month. Which meant, frankly, that I used to be very un-aware.

(And nevermind that I am now fully and completely aware of childhood cancer EVERY month. Nevermind that, okay?)

What does this mean?
Did you know that in the US alone, 36 kids are diagnosed daily with childhood cancer?
Did you know that in the US alone, 7 kids die each day from childhood cancer?

Sigh. Childhood cancer isn't pretty or shiny. Even though we are often smiling, there are lots of times that we aren't. There's a lot of pain and worry and fear and that's just from the parents. You can imagine how bruised and battered our kids are...

Tomorrow begins a month of story-sharing, statistic-quoting, and gold-wearing.
Maybe people will get so used to it that they won't stop.

Here are some links to cancer posts, videos, etc, that are all designed to make you so crazy that you will stop at nothing to join in the fight against childhood cancer...and of course, you can always read about our journey at Sam's blog.

Are you sick of all this cancer stuff? -- by Nicole Scobie
Breaking News! Childhood Cancer is Not Rainbows! -- by RockstarRonan's Mom, Maya
Lock up September -- at the FourSquare Clobbers Cancer blog
Childhood Cancer Stories all September -- by MaryTylerMom

All of these blogs are hard to read. Be courageous and subscribe to one or all of them. Read the stories, feel the heartbreak. Get mad and do something....it's a good time to begin.

Feel free to grab one of these and share it....share it....share it.

The Jewish month of Elul, which precedes the High Holy Days, is traditionally a time of renewal and reflection. It offers a chance for spiritual preparation for the Days of Awe. It is traditional to begin one’s preparation for the High Holy Days during this month with the Selichot, the prayers of forgiveness. We look to begin the year with a clean slate, starting anew, refreshed. All month, along with others, I'll be blogging a thought or two for each day to help with the month of preparation... I will be blogging here, and sharing #Elulgram photos on the same themes at imabima.tumblr.com. Follow me on twitter @imabima for all the #BlogElul posts, not only mine but others' as well! This year, I'm not doing a linky or anything like that -- I'm conserving energy! So be sure to tag your posts on Twitter and Facebook so I can catch them with my alerts....

#blogElul 24: end

How do people write memoirs?
People keep suggesting that I write a book about our experiences.
I keep telling them that I can't write the book until I know how the story ends.

I can be very goal-oriented.
It took me a long time to understand that sometimes it's just about the process.
Sometimes the doing and the being and the living are enough....

The wise Brene Brown said that if we OWN the story, we get to write the ending.

But what about stories that are being written for us?
What about the endings that are unclear...blurry...far away?

The year has a definite end. As Rosh HaShanah comes in, we know that the book is closed on the year. No way to re-open it and rewrite it. We lived it, we move forward.

If only the rest of life were so simple....

The Jewish month of Elul, which precedes the High Holy Days, is traditionally a time of renewal and reflection. It offers a chance for spiritual preparation for the Days of Awe. It is traditional to begin one’s preparation for the High Holy Days during this month with the Selichot, the prayers of forgiveness. We look to begin the year with a clean slate, starting anew, refreshed. All month, along with others, I'll be blogging a thought or two for each day to help with the month of preparation... I will be blogging here, and sharing #Elulgram photos on the same themes at imabima.tumblr.com. Follow me on twitter @imabima for all the #BlogElul posts, not only mine but others' as well! This year, I'm not doing a linky or anything like that -- I'm conserving energy! So be sure to tag your posts on Twitter and Facebook so I can catch them with my alerts....

#blogElul 23: love

It was love at first sight.
If you haven't read about Sam's love-at-first-sight meeting with his new cells, check it out here.

The Jewish month of Elul, which precedes the High Holy Days, is traditionally a time of renewal and reflection. It offers a chance for spiritual preparation for the Days of Awe. It is traditional to begin one’s preparation for the High Holy Days during this month with the Selichot, the prayers of forgiveness. We look to begin the year with a clean slate, starting anew, refreshed. All month, along with others, I'll be blogging a thought or two for each day to help with the month of preparation... I will be blogging here, and sharing #Elulgram photos on the same themes at imabima.tumblr.com. Follow me on twitter @imabima for all the #BlogElul posts, not only mine but others' as well! This year, I'm not doing a linky or anything like that -- I'm conserving energy! So be sure to tag your posts on Twitter and Facebook so I can catch them with my alerts....

#blogElul 22: Dare

Sometimes you have to take a daring leap....

The Jewish month of Elul, which precedes the High Holy Days, is traditionally a time of renewal and reflection. It offers a chance for spiritual preparation for the Days of Awe. It is traditional to begin one’s preparation for the High Holy Days during this month with the Selichot, the prayers of forgiveness. We look to begin the year with a clean slate, starting anew, refreshed. All month, along with others, I'll be blogging a thought or two for each day to help with the month of preparation... I will be blogging here, and sharing #Elulgram photos on the same themes at imabima.tumblr.com. Follow me on twitter @imabima for all the #BlogElul posts, not only mine but others' as well! This year, I'm not doing a linky or anything like that -- I'm conserving energy! So be sure to tag your posts on Twitter and Facebook so I can catch them with my alerts....

#blogElul 21: CHANGE

When I create the BlogElul prompts, I brainstorm a list and then tweak it a little, adjust the order, make sure it all seems to "work" and then send it out into the world. This year, I clearly didn't proofread well, since I ended up with two identical prompts: change.

I caught it right away (well, not before I had sent it out into the world) and when I asked what people thought and the consensus was to just leave it. After all, "change" is a pretty big theme of the High Holy Days.


When I created the prompts, I had no idea what the 21st day of Elul would be.

Change? Today is about as big of a change as it can be.
Today is the day that Sam receives his new cells.
His bone marrow transplant.
His new birthday.
His start of his change of status...from Leukemia Patient to Bone Marrow Transplant Survivor.

The change will be hard.
His body will resist.
Change can be painful.
He may suffer pain and discomfort.
Change isn't easy.
But there's no giving up.
There's no going back.
There's no starting over.
This is it.
The change is here.

Blessed are You, our God, who gives us the capacity for change.
Thank You, God, for this gift.

The Jewish month of Elul, which precedes the High Holy Days, is traditionally a time of renewal and reflection. It offers a chance for spiritual preparation for the Days of Awe. It is traditional to begin one’s preparation for the High Holy Days during this month with the Selichot, the prayers of forgiveness. We look to begin the year with a clean slate, starting anew, refreshed. All month, along with others, I'll be blogging a thought or two for each day to help with the month of preparation... I will be blogging here, and sharing #Elulgram photos on the same themes at imabima.tumblr.com. Follow me on twitter @imabima for all the #BlogElul posts, not only mine but others' as well! This year, I'm not doing a linky or anything like that -- I'm conserving energy! So be sure to tag your posts on Twitter and Facebook so I can catch them with my alerts....

#blogElul 20: Judge

When we talk about judgment with respect to the High Holy Days, we are usually talking about Divine Judgment. The Big Judge. God on High, judging us all, writing our names in the Book of Life or....the other Book.

Last year, I read those words...
who shall live
and who shall die
who by fire
and who by water
who by sword
and who by beast
who by plague....

And I get stuck.
I can't write the words.
I can't think the words.
I can't even breathe when I think about it...

The Jewish month of Elul, which precedes the High Holy Days, is traditionally a time of renewal and reflection. It offers a chance for spiritual preparation for the Days of Awe. It is traditional to begin one’s preparation for the High Holy Days during this month with the Selichot, the prayers of forgiveness. We look to begin the year with a clean slate, starting anew, refreshed. All month, along with others, I'll be blogging a thought or two for each day to help with the month of preparation... I will be blogging here, and sharing #Elulgram photos on the same themes at imabima.tumblr.com. Follow me on twitter @imabima for all the #BlogElul posts, not only mine but others' as well! This year, I'm not doing a linky or anything like that -- I'm conserving energy! So be sure to tag your posts on Twitter and Facebook so I can catch them with my alerts....

#blogElul 19: Ask

Asking questions is, in my opinion, one of my best skills.

I always want to know more. 

Is it any surprise, then, that my children ask incessant questions?

Sometimes, though, I just wish I hadn't passed on this particular trait. 

The Jewish month of Elul, which precedes the High Holy Days, is traditionally a time of renewal and reflection. It offers a chance for spiritual preparation for the Days of Awe. It is traditional to begin one’s preparation for the High Holy Days during this month with the Selichot, the prayers of forgiveness. We look to begin the year with a clean slate, starting anew, refreshed. All month, along with others, I'll be blogging a thought or two for each day to help with the month of preparation... I will be blogging here, and sharing #Elulgram photos on the same themes at imabima.tumblr.com. Follow me on twitter @imabima for all the #BlogElul posts, not only mine but others' as well! This year, I'm not doing a linky or anything like that -- I'm conserving energy! So be sure to tag your posts on Twitter and Facebook so I can catch them with my alerts....

#blogElul 18: pray

Each night, we say the words of Shema with our children.
Even the youngest, at 2 years old, can say the words.
Does he know what he is saying? No. But I teach him the words.
So he can say them.
So he can begin to make them a part of himself.

Our tradition says that we should pray in whatever language is comfortable.
I have always found Hebrew to bring me comfort.

Since Sam got sick, we sing the Mi Sheberach prayer, as interpreted by Debbie Friedman, each night.
It's in Hebrew and English.
We've also added Hashkiveinu, as set by Steve Brodsky and others (sung here by my bosom friend, Rebecca Schorr)

They all know the words.
They sing them.
Do they know what they are saying?
Because of those English words....yes. They do.
I can't tell you how many conversations have popped up, unsolicited, at all hours of the day, with questions about the words.
"What is 'lives a blessing'?"
"Why do we need to learn 'wrong from right'?"
"We have shelter. Why do we ask for more?"

The questions, the conversations, the discussions...these are the prayer.
They learn the words, they sing and speak the words.
But they feel them, they breathe them, they live them.
They make them a part of themselves.

May the words of my mouth, and the meditations of my heart, be acceptable to You, O God.


The Jewish month of Elul, which precedes the High Holy Days, is traditionally a time of renewal and reflection. It offers a chance for spiritual preparation for the Days of Awe. It is traditional to begin one’s preparation for the High Holy Days during this month with the Selichot, the prayers of forgiveness. We look to begin the year with a clean slate, starting anew, refreshed. All month, along with others, I'll be blogging a thought or two for each day to help with the month of preparation... I will be blogging here, and sharing #Elulgram photos on the same themes at imabima.tumblr.com. Follow me on twitter @imabima for all the #BlogElul posts, not only mine but others' as well! This year, I'm not doing a linky or anything like that -- I'm conserving energy! So be sure to tag your posts on Twitter and Facebook so I can catch them with my alerts....

#blogElul 17: awaken

When you're in the hospital, they try so hard not to wake you up.
But they have to do it, they have to check those all-important vital signs.

I think a lot about those who work the night shift.
Not just our nurses, whose wakeful presence gives me such comfort.
But I think about police officers and fire fighters and ambulance drivers and crisis-line phone operators and military officers and....

The "night watch" goes against the grain, doesn't it? Our bodies yearn to sleep in the night and be awake in the day. Yet those who are willing and able to do their work in the dark of night...they keep us safe, they give us comfort, they help us all to sleep just a little better.

I think a lot about those who are up when we are down.
Those who keep themselves awake so the rest of us can sleep.

For their wakefulness, I am grateful.

The Jewish month of Elul, which precedes the High Holy Days, is traditionally a time of renewal and reflection. It offers a chance for spiritual preparation for the Days of Awe. It is traditional to begin one’s preparation for the High Holy Days during this month with the Selichot, the prayers of forgiveness. We look to begin the year with a clean slate, starting anew, refreshed. All month, along with others, I'll be blogging a thought or two for each day to help with the month of preparation... I will be blogging here, and sharing #Elulgram photos on the same themes at imabima.tumblr.com. Follow me on twitter @imabima for all the #BlogElul posts, not only mine but others' as well! This year, I'm not doing a linky or anything like that -- I'm conserving energy! So be sure to tag your posts on Twitter and Facebook so I can catch them with my alerts....

#blogElul 16: change

Change is SO hard.
It's hard for me, it's hard for my kids.
I remember when I first learned some parenting techniques, way back in the early days of my first baby...I remember that there was so much about the importance of "transitions."

No kidding.

Transitions are hard for the kids and hey, they're hard for the adults!
Judaism is so very good at providing ritual for smoothing over traditions.

Look at Elul! It's a whole month to get us ready for a new year.
But it's not just that. Our rituals for birth and life and death all take into account the normal human inclination to resist change.

I'm so very grateful for these transition rituals, which guide my life and help me to find blessing even in moments that seem stressful and ordinary. 

P.S. in honor of "change," I've changed the header on my blog!

The Jewish month of Elul, which precedes the High Holy Days, is traditionally a time of renewal and reflection. It offers a chance for spiritual preparation for the Days of Awe. It is traditional to begin one’s preparation for the High Holy Days during this month with the Selichot, the prayers of forgiveness. We look to begin the year with a clean slate, starting anew, refreshed. All month, along with others, I'll be blogging a thought or two for each day to help with the month of preparation... I will be blogging here, and sharing #Elulgram photos on the same themes at imabima.tumblr.com. Follow me on twitter @imabima for all the #BlogElul posts, not only mine but others' as well! This year, I'm not doing a linky or anything like that -- I'm conserving energy! So be sure to tag your posts on Twitter and Facebook so I can catch them with my alerts....

#blogElul 15: learn

One of my favorite things to learn about was the intercalation of the Hebrew calendar. I'm not sure why this bit of education interests me so much, but I vividly remember when I actually learned how and why the Hebrew months are the way they are, why we have leap months, how the whole thing plays out. And I remember finally understanding the phases of the moon, which I also learned in fifth grade science, and I remember how it changed the way that I view time.

As I looked up at the moon and saw its fullness, I was reminded of this learning.

The midpoint of Elul is here, and I have learned so much from all of the #blogElul posts that I've seen. Insightful and interesting, lyrical and lovely -- so many different kinds of words have been shared. I suggest you click over to the Twitter hashtag #blogElul and scroll through to see for yourself some of these posts. You won't be disappointed and you'll probably learn something....(You DON'T have to be on Twitter to see this stream!)

The Jewish month of Elul, which precedes the High Holy Days, is traditionally a time of renewal and reflection. It offers a chance for spiritual preparation for the Days of Awe. It is traditional to begin one’s preparation for the High Holy Days during this month with the Selichot, the prayers of forgiveness. We look to begin the year with a clean slate, starting anew, refreshed. All month, along with others, I'll be blogging a thought or two for each day to help with the month of preparation... I will be blogging here, and sharing #Elulgram photos on the same themes at imabima.tumblr.com. Follow me on twitter @imabima for all the #BlogElul posts, not only mine but others' as well! This year, I'm not doing a linky or anything like that -- I'm conserving energy! So be sure to tag your posts on Twitter and Facebook so I can catch them with my alerts....

#blogElul 14: remember

wisps of memory
float in my mind
i try to grab them
and they
slip
away

i want to remember
but sometimes
my mind
wants
to
forget.

The Jewish month of Elul, which precedes the High Holy Days, is traditionally a time of renewal and reflection. It offers a chance for spiritual preparation for the Days of Awe. It is traditional to begin one’s preparation for the High Holy Days during this month with the Selichot, the prayers of forgiveness. We look to begin the year with a clean slate, starting anew, refreshed. All month, along with others, I'll be blogging a thought or two for each day to help with the month of preparation... I will be blogging here, and sharing #Elulgram photos on the same themes at imabima.tumblr.com. Follow me on twitter @imabima for all the #BlogElul posts, not only mine but others' as well! This year, I'm not doing a linky or anything like that -- I'm conserving energy! So be sure to tag your posts on Twitter and Facebook so I can catch them with my alerts....

#blogElul 13: forgive

A few weeks ago, this video was released by IKAR, a really fabulous organization in Los Angeles. I love videos like this because they get people thinking and talking and musing and wondering. 


I know, because I was one of those people! My friend Anne (okay, full disclosure, a rabbi too) and I had quite a discussion about this video....and I encouraged her to write it down on her OWN blog. (See, I do a lot of blogvangelism over here...)

So instead of writing about "forgive" I'm going to send you over to her blog to read her words.
What do you think?

The Jewish month of Elul, which precedes the High Holy Days, is traditionally a time of renewal and reflection. It offers a chance for spiritual preparation for the Days of Awe. It is traditional to begin one’s preparation for the High Holy Days during this month with the Selichot, the prayers of forgiveness. We look to begin the year with a clean slate, starting anew, refreshed. All month, along with others, I'll be blogging a thought or two for each day to help with the month of preparation... I will be blogging here, and sharing #Elulgram photos on the same themes at imabima.tumblr.com. Follow me on twitter @imabima for all the #BlogElul posts, not only mine but others' as well! This year, I'm not doing a linky or anything like that -- I'm conserving energy! So be sure to tag your posts on Twitter and Facebook so I can catch them with my alerts....

#BlogElul 12: Trust

It is traditional throughout the Hebrew month of Elul to recite Psalm 27 daily. 
A major theme of this psalm is trusting in God. I'm trying. I really am....
My thoughts are in italics....

A Psalm of David:
God is my light and my salvation; whom should I fear? 
God is the stronghold of my life; of whom should I be afraid?
When evildoers approach me to devour my flesh, my own foes and enemies, 
it is they who stumble and fall.
Though an army encamp against me, my heart would have no fear; 
though war arise against me, still would I be confident.

The army that rises against me is the army within my child.
I am filled with fear, I am filled with mistrust.
But I am confident that I will find a path. 
I am confident in the strength of faith and family, of love and prayer and hope.
I trust You.
 
One thing I ask of God; that is what I seek: to dwell in the house of God all the days of my life, 
to behold the beauty of God and to frequent God's temple.

One thing, O God. Just one little thing.
I'm just asking for the world. 

God will hide me in God's own pavilion on an evil day, conceal me in the hiding places of God's own tent, and raise me high upon a rock.

Give me a place of shelter, a safe space to rant and rave and scream and cry.
Give me a place of hope to shelter my aching heart.
Give me a place that I can trust, a place where I will know that goodness will be done.

Now is my head raised above my enemies round about me; I sacrifice in God's tent with shouts of joy; I sing and chant hymns to God.
Hear, O God, my voice; I call: have mercy on me, and answer me.
On Your behalf my heart says: “Seek my face!” Your face, O God, I seek.

Remind me of my blessings.
Remind me of those who are with me each and every day, no matter how far away.
Remind me of my community and my support.
Remind me to turn to You.

Do not conceal Your face from me; do not turn Your servant away in anger; 
You are my help. 
Do not abandon me, do not forsake me, O God of my salvation.
Though my father and mother forsake me, God will take me in.
Show me, O God, Your way, and lead me on a level path because of my watchful adversaries.
Do not subject me to the will of my foes, for false witnesses have arisen against me, 
breathing out violence.

There are so many possible paths. There are so many ways I can get lost.
Help me to stay on the path, to stay the course, to be strong and full of courage.
Help me to trust, to keep faith in those who lead and guide and help this path.
Help me to continue to trust that God will continue to watch over and protect my family.

Were I not to believe that I would see God’s goodness in the land of the living….
Hope in God; be strong and of good courage! O hope in God!

Hope is light and airy, it buoys us up and strengthens our steps.
Hope keeps the trust strong, it keeps the faith alive.
To know, to feel, to believe, to trust in that hope...that is our challenge.
Hope in God, be strong and of good courage.... 

--

The Jewish month of Elul, which precedes the High Holy Days, is traditionally a time of renewal and reflection. It offers a chance for spiritual preparation for the Days of Awe. It is traditional to begin one’s preparation for the High Holy Days during this month with the Selichot, the prayers of forgiveness. We look to begin the year with a clean slate, starting anew, refreshed. All month, along with others, I'll be blogging a thought or two for each day to help with the month of preparation... I will be blogging here, and sharing #Elulgram photos on the same themes at imabima.tumblr.com. Follow me on twitter @imabima for all the #BlogElul posts, not only mine but others' as well! This year, I'm not doing a linky or anything like that -- I'm conserving energy! So be sure to tag your posts on Twitter and Facebook so I can catch them with my alerts.... 

#blogElul 11: count

When I saw that the topic for day 11 was "count," I knew I had written a post about this topic before. In fact, I've written a couple. One about how Jews like to count. And we do, we really really like it.

Then I remembered another post, which I wrote during this year's Omer period. I talked about the different type of counting in which my family is engaged, the counting of white blood cells and neutrophils and ounces of water and days in the hospital.

Tomorrow begins Sam's bone marrow transplant process. Tomorrow we start a whole new kind of counting. Days until transplant. Days post-transplant. Those numbers will again consume and become our whole lives. Platelet and hemoglobin counts. And new numbers, ones that we've never seen before. Kidney levels, cyclosporine levels, and chimerism numbers. Plus about a billion more numbers...that we have to count.

As a mom of four kids, I'm always counting heads and making sure that I've got everyone. As Sam prepares to go into the hospital, I'm going to be counting heads in a different way. One-two-three...and Sam in the hospital. I am filled with fear that someday my counting will change. I know parents who are counting so very differently...but I try not to think about it. I try not to imagine what it's like to count a different way, a different number, I try not to imagine the pain of that accounting.

It's Elul. It's the time to think big and deep and scary thoughts.

Instead, I'm hoping to be distracted by the numbers. I'm hoping that the actions of counting will consume my time and my mind and let me sink into the depths of the details. I'm hoping that the small actions and details will help us to get where we need to go -- with our mind on the goal, a bright and light-filled future.

I'm counting on it.

The Jewish month of Elul, which precedes the High Holy Days, is traditionally a time of renewal and reflection. It offers a chance for spiritual preparation for the Days of Awe. It is traditional to begin one’s preparation for the High Holy Days during this month with the Selichot, the prayers of forgiveness. We look to begin the year with a clean slate, starting anew, refreshed. All month, along with others, I'll be blogging a thought or two for each day to help with the month of preparation... I will be blogging here, and sharing #Elulgram photos on the same themes at imabima.tumblr.com. Follow me on twitter @imabima for all the #BlogElul posts, not only mine but others' as well! This year, I'm not doing a linky or anything like that -- I'm conserving energy! So be sure to tag your posts on Twitter and Facebook so I can catch them with my alerts....

#blogelul 10: see

I really want to write a post about seeing and photographing. Does it change an event when we take pictures of it? Do we remember it more if we have to SEE every moment or if we know we will have photos to remind us? Or do we see more because we are looking for the perfect shot to capture it -- does this quest for the details help us to see more?

I will write that post someday but today I just leave the questions here. 

Ah, Elul....

#blogElul 9: Hear

I love this story about the well-known violinist Joshua Bell playing in a D.C. Metro stop. Did people stop and listen? This is a good reminder of the importance of not just hearing, but also really listening.

So what are you failing to hear....?

The Jewish month of Elul, which precedes the High Holy Days, is traditionally a time of renewal and reflection. It offers a chance for spiritual preparation for the Days of Awe. It is traditional to begin one’s preparation for the High Holy Days during this month with the Selichot, the prayers of forgiveness. We look to begin the year with a clean slate, starting anew, refreshed. All month, along with others, I'll be blogging a thought or two for each day to help with the month of preparation... I will be blogging here, and sharing #Elulgram photos on the same themes at imabima.tumblr.com. Follow me on twitter @imabima for all the #BlogElul posts, not only mine but others' as well! This year, I'm not doing a linky or anything like that -- I'm conserving energy! So be sure to tag your posts on Twitter and Facebook so I can catch them with my alerts....

#blogElul 8: believe

Reposted from 2012

Faith.
It's one of those weird words that often gives people the willies.
"You've gotta have faith."
But many of us are worried.
What does it mean to have faith?
Do I have to give up my belief that my actions can impact what happens to me?
Is it entirely in Someone Else's hand?
Can I be a "person of faith" without become what others might consider a fanatic?

To have faith is simply to believe.
I often remark that "people of faith" can share an understanding of what it means to live a life guided by religious belief. Even if our faith differs, we can understand how those religious traditions and ideals can be so beneficial and influencing.

So often we worry what that faith is. We want, we need, to name it.

But faith is, I think, broader than that. An inherent ideal that belief, in and of itself, has an incredible power. It's often misused. It's often taken too far.

How can we get to the very ideal of faith - in ourselves and each other, and in our religious traditions - without judgment or recrimination? An acceptance that it is the very act of belief itself that makes us so much more alike than we are different...

You've gotta have faith.

Read this wonderful words from Rabbi Eric Yoffie from a few years ago about what it means to be a liberal person of faith.

The Jewish month of Elul, which precedes the High Holy Days, is traditionally a time of renewal and reflection. It offers a chance for spiritual preparation for the Days of Awe. It is traditional to begin one’s preparation for the High Holy Days during this month with the Selichot, the prayers of forgiveness. We look to begin the year with a clean slate, starting anew, refreshed. All month, along with others, I'll be blogging a thought or two for each day to help with the month of preparation... I will be blogging here, and sharing #Elulgram photos on the same themes at imabima.tumblr.com. Follow me on twitter @imabima for all the #BlogElul posts, not only mine but others' as well! This year, I'm not doing a linky or anything like that -- I'm conserving energy! So be sure to tag your posts on Twitter and Facebook so I can catch them with my alerts....

#blogElul 7: BE

Yesterday's word was "do" and today's is "be."

I have heard the expression, "we are not called 'human doings', we are called 'human beings'."

Is it our actions that define us?
Or is it our very existence?

Is it enough just to BE or do we have to fill that being with meaning and action?
Is our being meaningful enough on its own....

Oh, Elul....

The Jewish month of Elul, which precedes the High Holy Days, is traditionally a time of renewal and reflection. It offers a chance for spiritual preparation for the Days of Awe. It is traditional to begin one’s preparation for the High Holy Days during this month with the Selichot, the prayers of forgiveness. We look to begin the year with a clean slate, starting anew, refreshed. All month, along with others, I'll be blogging a thought or two for each day to help with the month of preparation... I will be blogging here, and sharing #Elulgram photos on the same themes at imabima.tumblr.com. Follow me on twitter @imabima for all the #BlogElul posts, not only mine but others' as well! This year, I'm not doing a linky or anything like that -- I'm conserving energy! So be sure to tag your posts on Twitter and Facebook so I can catch them with my alerts....

#blogElul 6: Do

Do what you can

with what you have

where you are. 

I love these words because they remind me that while I am always striving to be my best self, I have to live in this moment, where I am, at this time. 

Some days I am able to do more. 

Many days less. 

But I make do

with that which is in me....

each day is its own time,

 its own place, 

its own moment of being. 

We get lost, I think,

when we forget to re-assess. 

Where am I now?

What do I have?

What can I do?

It changes constantly. 

But we forget to recheck.

We forget to check in

with ourselves and 

with others. 

Some days I can do more. 

And some less. 

And if I forget to reassess 

I might be sad or mad or glad 

that this day wasn't like the one before.

Do what you can

with what you have

where you are. 

The Jewish month of Elul, which precedes the High Holy Days, is traditionally a time of renewal and reflection. It offers a chance for spiritual preparation for the Days of Awe. It is traditional to begin one’s preparation for the High Holy Days during this month with the Selichot, the prayers of forgiveness. We look to begin the year with a clean slate, starting anew, refreshed. All month, along with others, I'll be blogging a thought or two for each day to help with the month of preparation... I will be blogging here, and sharing #Elulgram photos on the same themes at imabima.tumblr.com. Follow me on twitter @imabima for all the #BlogElul posts, not only mine but others' as well! This year, I'm not doing a linky or anything like that -- I'm conserving energy! So be sure to tag your posts on Twitter and Facebook so I can catch them with my alerts....

#blogElul 5: know

What do I

know?

Facts

Dates

Weights

Measures

Phone numbers

Birthdates

Ideas

We are a 

collection of

data. 

What do I 

really 

know?

The touch of her fingertips

The feel of his breath

The light in her eyes

The presence of

love. 

This I know. 

The Jewish month of Elul, which precedes the High Holy Days, is traditionally a time of renewal and reflection. It offers a chance for spiritual preparation for the Days of Awe. It is traditional to begin one’s preparation for the High Holy Days during this month with the Selichot, the prayers of forgiveness. We look to begin the year with a clean slate, starting anew, refreshed. All month, along with others, I'll be blogging a thought or two for each day to help with the month of preparation... I will be blogging here, and sharing #Elulgram photos on the same themes at imabima.tumblr.com. Follow me on twitter @imabima for all the #BlogElul posts, not only mine but others' as well! This year, I'm not doing a linky or anything like that -- I'm conserving energy! So be sure to tag your posts on Twitter and Facebook so I can catch them with my alerts....

#blogElul 4: Accept

I'm sure you've lately seen the old British war poster: Keep Calm and Carry On.

It's a typically British statement, it spoke to the reality of the situation during World War II. The idea of the "stiff upper lip" and calmly facing down danger while sipping tea were a part of the British psyche and probably had a lot to do with how well they weathered the terror that was the Blitz. 

But I've started to see a little backlash to the "keep calm" mantra. 

Keep calm and raise hell

I don't do calm. 

Don't keep calm - go crazy.

There's something about the idea that keeping calm means we are accepting of what's happening. It means we aren't going to fight the system, but instead "carry on" as if nothing were amiss. 

Can we accept what's happening to us, work to change the situation, and also maintain calm?

I think of the story of the frog who fell into a jug of freshly drawn milk. He paddled and paddled his legs, never giving up. Until, much later, he climbed out on the pile of butter he had churned. We all know that drowning happens when we panic. Accepting the danger and working calmly within it -- this leads to success. 

So I think I'm sticking with calm. It is what it is -- I accept this situation. Does it work? Is it what I want? Do I want desperately to change, improve, make it better?

 Heck yeah. 

My acceptance allows me to be calm and to work for change....maybe not always.
But it's what I've got today.

One last one for ya...

The Jewish month of Elul, which precedes the High Holy Days, is traditionally a time of renewal and reflection. It offers a chance for spiritual preparation for the Days of Awe. It is traditional to begin one’s preparation for the High Holy Days during this month with the Selichot, the prayers of forgiveness. We look to begin the year with a clean slate, starting anew, refreshed. All month, along with others, I'll be blogging a thought or two for each day to help with the month of preparation... I will be blogging here, and sharing #Elulgram photos on the same themes at imabima.tumblr.com. Follow me on twitter @imabima for all the #BlogElul posts, not only mine but others' as well! This year, I'm not doing a linky or anything like that -- I'm conserving energy! So be sure to tag your posts on Twitter and Facebook so I can catch them with my alerts....

#blogelul 3: blessings

I want so desperately to write a sweet flowery post about the blessings in my life.

There are, in fact, so many. 

But my heart is just a bit heavy as I try so hard not to focus on what's missing. 

Sam was supposed to be at camp this week. His first time as a "real camper" at OSRUI. It was to be our triumph, our "yes, we survived this" moment. When I registered him, I cried and said a blessing. 

Instead, this is what he is doing today:

So many of my friends' kids are there right now. His cohort, his group. I offer and wish blessings for their time at camp. May they find all the love in that holy place that we find. 

So where is the blessing in this? Is it in the maturity he's gaining? In the strength he is finding in places he didn't know he had? Will the blessing be in the inspiration this gives to him and someday he will be the one to find the cure? 

It is hard to talk of blessings when things don't feel that way. 

But I know that it is the right way. I know that finding blessings (and silver linings) and giving blessings and saying blessings are the way to let God in. They are the way to remind myself (and those around me) that we are not alone. 

And so we bless. 

The Jewish month of Elul, which precedes the High Holy Days, is traditionally a time of renewal and reflection. It offers a chance for spiritual preparation for the Days of Awe. It is traditional to begin one’s preparation for the High Holy Days during this month with the Selichot, the prayers of forgiveness. We look to begin the year with a clean slate, starting anew, refreshed. All month, along with others, I'll be blogging a thought or two for each day to help with the month of preparation... I will be blogging here, and sharing #Elulgram photos on the same themes at imabima.tumblr.com. Follow me on twitter @imabima for all the #BlogElul posts, not only mine but others' as well! This year, I'm not doing a linky or anything like that -- I'm conserving energy! So be sure to tag your posts on Twitter and Facebook so I can catch them with my alerts....

#blogElul 2: Act

I like to say... "fake it til you make it."

Sometimes it's all an act.

But that act might lead to reality. If I pretend to be strong, to be wise, to be brave, to be "put together".... just maybe I will convince myself that I really am.

Our Torah tells us that when we received Torah we said, "na'aseh v'nishma" -- we will DO and we will hear. Basically we said, "we'll fake it 'til we make it."

Sometimes we need it to all be an act...we don't have enough information or knowledge or foresight to truly OWN it. But if we do the act....if we just "fake it" -- eventually we acquire the information, the knowledge, the understanding....and we do make it.

At least, that's what I'm hoping.

The Jewish month of Elul, which precedes the High Holy Days, is traditionally a time of renewal and reflection. It offers a chance for spiritual preparation for the Days of Awe. It is traditional to begin one’s preparation for the High Holy Days during this month with the Selichot, the prayers of forgiveness. We look to begin the year with a clean slate, starting anew, refreshed. All month, along with others, I'll be blogging a thought or two for each day to help with the month of preparation... I will be blogging here, and sharing #Elulgram photos on the same themes at imabima.tumblr.com. Follow me on twitter @imabima for all the #BlogElul posts, not only mine but others' as well! This year, I'm not doing a linky or anything like that -- I'm conserving energy! So be sure to tag your posts on Twitter and Facebook so I can catch them with my alerts....

#blogElul 1: Prepare

Today is the beginning of the month of Elul, the final month of the calendar before Rosh HaShanah, the new year. Each day this month, I'll (try) to share a different thought related to the prompts in the above graphic. Some days there will be words. Some days pictures or images. Some days I might not make it. Things are a bit rough in my world. But I'm hopeful that returning to this spiritual preparation in this month of holy introspection will help to ground me, to give me pause to think above and outside of the reality of what is...and think about the beauty of what can be. Who knows what I will write about....usually I have some idea in mind. But this year....I'm hoping to let it all flow....

However, today's topic is "prepare" and in beginning to prepare for #blogElul, I began to re-read previous posts from Elul and I found this poem, which I've published before. It serves me well to re-read at the beginning of Elul...and so my preparations have led me to this...

as the new moon Elul approaches
the days begin to grow shorter
as the new moon Elul approaches
our minds begin to wander
toward the healing breaths
of the days of awe.

each day dawns
beckoning me to
examine
elaborate
consider
remark
pay attention
get ready!

my heart moves toward
the days of awe.
am i ready?
have i asked the questions?
forgive me
pardon me
raise me up
renew me
refresh me
bring my soul back home
so that i may fill myself up

plant the seeds of the new year
and watch them grow
small shoots of green that begin to poke up
during this month
they blossom and flower
into the days of awe
and i flower with them
reaching my petals, like a flower,
up to the Holy One.


The Jewish month of Elul, which precedes the High Holy Days, is traditionally a time of renewal and reflection. It offers a chance for spiritual preparation for the Days of Awe. It is traditional to begin one’s preparation for the High Holy Days during this month with the Selichot, the prayers of forgiveness. We look to begin the year with a clean slate, starting anew, refreshed. All month, along with others, I'll be blogging a thought or two for each day to help with the month of preparation... I will be blogging here, and sharing #Elulgram photos on the same themes at imabima.tumblr.com. Follow me on twitter @imabima for all the #BlogElul posts, not only mine but others' as well! This year, I'm not doing a linky or anything like that -- I'm conserving energy! So be sure to tag your posts on Twitter and Facebook so I can catch them with my alerts....