Beautiful Wedding

As I wrote last Thursday, I was off to my cousin's wedding in Cleveland. It was a beautiful simcha (celebration). My favorite part (aside from the getting-married-thing) was all of my cousins' children...they are gorgeous and were dressed so adorably! I couldn't stop taking pictures. Full disclosure: My dad and I were sharing his new cool camera, so about half the pictures were taken by me and half by him. I'm quite sure that one or two of these below are from his batch!

Getting ready before the wedding, my dad helping David tie his tie. (Only my parents and I went, and I brought my oldest. It was too much for my little ones!)
Some of the little girls (nieces of the bride, my cousins' kids) in their beautiful dresses, taking pictures before the wedding. You could see how much they love their aunt, and the glow in their eyes as they envisioned themselves as a bride someday. They also loved their beautiful twirly dresses! (There are even more gorgeous shots, but I left out all the faces of the kids for obvious reasons.)

The bride with our grandmother.

Before the wedding ceremony, there is a period called "Kabbalat Panim" -- literally "welcoming faces," when the bride sits on a throne-like chair surrounded by her mother, mother-in-law, grandmothers, and sisters, and she is greeted and kissed by all the women present. (During this time, the men are involved in what's known as the Groom's Tisch, or Table, where the groom is teased by his friends as he tries to give a scholarly lecture. At the Tisch, the Ketubah, the Marriage Contract, is also signed.) There's more about how a Jewish wedding works in this post by me and at MyJewishLearning.com. These are some of the little girls sitting at their aunt's feet during this time.

My son, David, with my grandmother, during Kabbalat Panim. Doesn't he look handsome in his suit!?

During the ceremony, the bride and groom under the chuppah.

It is a mitzvah, a commandment, to dance with bride and groom. In Orthodox custom, men and women dance separately, and each woman there vies for her chance to dance with the celebrating bride. The dancing goes on and on, and the bride is often exhausted! When she can't dance any more, they seat her on a chair in the midst of all the dancers and her friends and relatives entertain her and dance for her. This is the bride dancing with her newest sister-in-law, my cousin's wife, who was married just in April before Passover.

A funny tradition as part of the mitzvah of "entertaining the bride and groom", within my cousins' circle at least, there is always this hilarious moment of the jump-rope! I don't know of any particular significance, but I always laugh to see these elaborately dressed brides and sisters jumping rope! This is the bride and one of her older sisters. They did a great job, I think they jumped 2 or three times before hitting the rope!

My favorite shot of the trip, though, is this one that my dad took in Corky and Lenny's Deli before the wedding, of David and me. Those of you who know me IRL or have seen my pictures know that I have curly hair...but my friend Andi straightened it for me just for the wedding! (I'm now hooked, btw, I am on a hunt to buy myself a hair straightener.)


See many other great shots (and probably shorter posts!) at Best Shot Monday...

Off to a Wedding....

In honor of my parents' anniversary in January, I posted 13 Things About Jewish Weddings.

In honor of my cousin's wedding, which I'm attending tonight, I thought I'd post a little about the Sheva Brachot, the Seven Blessings that are a major feature of the Jewish wedding.

1. The Sheva Brachot, or Seven Blessings, are really considered the heart of the wedding ceremony. Asking for abundant blessings for the bride and groom, the blessings are usually sung beautifully and can provide an opportunity for involving friends and loved ones as readers in the ceremony. They are also repeated during the Grace after Meals at the wedding meal and traditionally at seven dinners for seven nights after the wedding. (The couple is usually hosted by friends and relatives each night, the dinners are known as sheva brachot.)

2. The first blessing is: Blessed are You, our God, Ruler of the Universe, Creator of the fruit of the vine. It is said over a cup of wine, which is not drunk until all 7 blessings have been said.

3. "Wine gladdens the heart," the Psalms tell us. So many Jewish occasion are sanctified by a cup of wine.

4. The second blessing is: Blessed are You, our God, Ruler of the universe, Who has created everything for your glory.

5. Marriage is considered to have a higher goal, a higher purpose, for the glory of God. While some people would say that this higher purpose is the creation of children (and that is certainly a high purpose), I would say it is not the only higher purpose of marriage. I do believe that two people coming together to create a holy union of love is in itself for the glory of God.

6. The third blessing: Blessed are You, our God, Ruler of the universe, Creator of Human Beings. The traditional translation (oh, and the Hebrew itself) says "Creator of man." I tend to believe that God created man AND woman.

7. God's creation of humankind enabled God to fully embrace and experience human love, which is truly a unique thing. As I said before, that love is indeed enough.

8. The fourth blessing: Blessed are You, our God, Ruler of the universe, Who has fashioned human beings in your image, according to your likeness and has fashioned from it a lasting mold. Blessed are You Adonai, Creator of Human Beings. Humans again? Yep. Marriage (and its subsequent physical consummation) are perhaps one of our most powerful reminders of our humanity. Where there is love, there is hope.

9. The fifth blessing: Bring intense joy and exultation to the barren one (Jerusalem) through the ingathering of her children amidst her in gladness. Blessed are You, our God, Who gladdens Zion through her children. Jerusalem is always at the forefront of our times of celebration.

10. The psalms tell us to bring Jerusalem to our mind at our times of greatest joy. By ritualizing it, we make certain not to forget.

11. The sixth blessing: Gladden the beloved companions as You gladdened Your creatures in the garden of Eden. Blessed are You, our God, Who gladdens groom and bride. Does it get any better than this? As we come to the joyous culmination of the seven blessings, we are reminded of Paradise, of the Garden of Eden. Every marriage evokes a reminder of the first love on earth.

12. My favorite, and the seventh blessing: Blessed are You, our God, Ruler of the universe, Who created joy and gladness, groom and bride, mirth, glad song, pleasure, delight, love, brotherhood, peace, and companionship. Dear God, let there soon be heard in the cities of Judah and the streets of Jerusalem the sound of joy and the sound of gladness, the voice of the groom and the voice of the bride, the sound of the grooms' jubilance from their canopies and of the youths from their song-filled feasts. Blessed are You Who causes the groom to rejoice with his bride.

As if seven (see #13) wasn't a powerful enough number, this blessing also brings in the number 10. There are 10 adjectives used to describe the happiness that will (hopefully) exist in the household of this couple: joy, gladness, mirth, gladsong, pleasure, delight, love, brotherhood, peace, and companionship. (Were you counting?) Ten reminds us of the 10 commandments, the building blocks of the Torah, and a number considered to be "complete," just like a married couple. (There's actually even more symbolism in this blessing but too much to go into today!)

13. Seven is considered to be a very special number. It is the number of the day of Shabbat, and thus considered to be the number of peace. (And someone once told me that it was Mickey Mantle's number, so that explains it all too...right?) Seven is considered to be a lucky number in other cultures too, so it's very fitting and lucky for the bride and groom to be blessed seven times.

Translations from Gabrielle Kaplan-Mayer at MyJewishLearning.com
See more Thursday Thirteen here.

And a hearty Mazel Tov to the bride and groom, Deena Malka and Yaakov!

Happy Anniversary, Mom & Dad

Today is my parents' 38th wedding anniversary. In honor of them, I present 13 things about Jewish weddings.

1. First, you gotta get engaged. The engagement can be celebrated at an engagement party/announcement party, known in frum circles as a "vort". The parents of the bride and groom may sign an agreement, called "tenaim" or, in most modern circles, probably not. An old custom is for the mothers of the bride and groom to break a plate together to symbolize that their children will no longer be eating at their tables. Also, it symbolizes the unbreakable nature of the engagement.

2. There are restrictions in the Jewish calendar as to when a wedding can take place. No weddings on Shabbat - from Friday sundown to Saturday sundown. Traditionally, Jews have been prohibited from getting married during the period of the Omer, the days between Passover and Shavuot. In addition, the three weeks before Tisha B'Av (usually August) are also considered prohibited. Most of these restrictions are eased by Reform and some Conservative rabbis because these are considered "semi-mourning" rather than full mourning periods. For more information on this, go here. On the upside, Tuesdays are considered auspicious days to get married, as is Rosh Chodesh, the new moon. The month of Elul, preceeding the High Holy Days, is very busy but also considered a good time to get married because the name Elul is an acronym for the Song of Songs phrase "I am my beloved and my beloved is mine."

3. It is customary for both the bride and groom to go to the mikveh, the ritual bath, before their wedding. Read more about my experiences with the mikveh here.

4. Before the wedding, a marriage contract called a Ketubah is signed. (This is in addition to a civil marriage license.) Historically only the groom signed the document (and still the way things go in the Orthodox community) but most modern Jews choose to view the ketubah as a more egalitarian document. Many ketubot (plural of ketubah) are beautiful pieces of art that the bride and groom later hang in their home. My favorite thing about the ketubah is that even in the past, it was always considered the property of the woman, and was her insurance that is her husband wanted a divorce, she would receive back her bride price (goats...).

5. After the signing of the ketubah, it is customary to veil the bride, a ceremony known as the bedeken. The groom himself places the veil on his bride, to ensure that he is marrying the right woman. This tradition stems from Jacob's experience with Leah & Rachel in the Torah.

6. Traditionally the bride wears a white dress and the groom a white garment called a kittel. The kittel is also worn on Yom Kippur, and symbolizes personal purity. On the day of one's wedding, it is a chance to start fresh, and considered an opportunity for personal repentance.

6. Bride and Groom stand together under a chuppah, a marriage canopy that symbolizes the home they are about to create. It is probably the most recognizable symbol of a Jewish wedding.

7. There is a custom among many Jews that after walking down the aisle to the chuppah, the bride makes seven circles around the groom, to symbolize the protective circle of their marriage. Modern interpretations of this custom have the bride making 3 circles around the groom, the groom 3 around the bride, and 1 circle together.

8. The wedding ceremony itself is actually 2 ceremonies joined together. Wine is blessed and rings are exchanged (traditionally only the bride receives a ring but many couples exchange rings now). Rings are required to be unbroken circles, traditionally unadorned, to symbolize the never-ending circle of their love.

9. A Jewish wedding can be performed by any Jewish adult. A rabbi isn't exactly necessary. Civil law requires an officiant, however, who is licensed to perform marriages, and rabbis do fit the bill. In addition, a rabbi is likely to help the couple view their wedding as part of the whole of the Jewish community.

10. The Sheva Brachot, or Seven Blessings, are really considered the heart of the wedding ceremony. Asking for abundant blessings for the bride and groom, the blessings are usually sung beautifully and can provide an opportunity for involving friends and loved ones as readers in the ceremony. They are also repeated during the Grace after Meals at the wedding meal and traditionally at seven dinners for seven nights after the wedding. (The couple is usually hosted by friends and relatives each night, the dinners are known as sheva brachot.)

11. The final piece of a wedding ceremony is the breaking of the glass. The custom has many rationales. I like a few of them: the broken glass reminds us the brokenness of the world, even in the midst of our happiness; reminds us of those who wait for a day as happy as this one; defines the unbreakable bond of the couple; the thousands of pieces of the glass are the number of times by which the happiness of the couple will be multiplied.

11. After the ceremony, the couple gets a few moments of seclusion, known as yichud. It's a chance for the couple to connect, eat (traditionally they've been fasting all day), and share a few moments alone before the rush of the festive meal to follow!

12. Many consider the first year of a couple's married life to be special. Some follow "sweet" customs, such as dipping their Shabbat challah in honey each week instead of the customary salt. It is a chance to begin their lives together!

13. Every Jewish wedding is unique, and every community has its own customs and standards. Attending a Jewish wedding? Don't hesitate to ask questions. One great resource for attending all religious experiences is How to Be a Perfect Stranger: The Essential Religious Etiquette Handbook.

Happy Anniversary, Mom & Dad! May this year be the best yet.

See more Thursday Thirteen here.

Mazel Tov Mandy and Everett!

I just got back from the most beautiful

wedding...more tomorrow;-)