It's Alright to Cry

I was riding in the car with my kids and looking for something that everyone could agree on. Sam is insistent on listening to The Lion King soundtrack, but that gets a little old. We had listened to all of the Barenaked Ladies' new CD, Snacktime, and I started perusing my IPod for something else to listen to. David suggested our favorite Chanukah CD which has spoken stories along with singing but that seemed a little out of place to me...in June. So I hit on Free to Be...You and Me.

Perfect. I know the whole thing by heart, it's new to my kids, and hopefully no one would complain. It's like visiting an old friend!

I put it on, and a hush fell over the car.

The only sound was my sniffling.

Yep, that's right...almost every track brought me to tears! I haven't listened to it in a while, and I had forgotten how powerful the equality messages are, and how deep an impact these songs and stories had on my own self-image. These songs and stories have definitely held up over the years - I'd only add a few new ideas to an updated version to make it perfect.

Let's break it down...the 13 tracks (out of 18) that made me cry.

1. Free to Be...You and Me -- "There's a land that I see where the children are free and they say it ain't far to this land from where we are." Yes! This is what I want my kids to learn about and BE! Free to be themselves. "Every boy in this land grows to be his own man, in this land every girl grows to be her own woman..." Tears.

2. When we grow up -- "When we grow up, will I be a lady, will you be big and strong? I don't care if I'm pretty at all, and I don't care if you never get tall. I like what I look like and you're nice small. We don't have to change at all." We can grow up and not change, and we can change immensely. Tears.

3. Parents are People -- "When parents were little, they used to be kids, like all of you...and then they grew. And now parents are grownups. Grownups with children...Mommies are people, Daddies are people..." We live in a house that tries so hard not to differentiate things because "mommy is a girl" or "daddy is a boy" and I definitely work in a job that regularly gets the "women can do that!?" question. Perhaps I was just emotional that day...Tears.

4. Helping -- "Some kind of help is the kind of help...we all can do without." Learning how to pick your friends is hard. Knowing that they're going to be the kind of friends that will help you out and be good to you is super-hard. Tears.

5. Ladies First -- "Ladies first! Ladies first! And she was...and might tasty too." Oy that poor little sweet young thing who thinks that she should have it all because of her pretty dress and shiny shoes. How many people do we know like this and how often have we women worked to change this image in the world...yet there's still the idea that if we put on enough lipstick and show off enough cleavage we can get what we want. Tears of anger.

6. Dudley Pippin and the Principal -- "and he took out his little blue flute and began to play..." Oh how I love Dudley's Principal. A wise and warm and wonderful man who knows that boys need to cry too. I hope that my sons (and daughter) have such a wise mentor in their lives. Tears tears tears!

7. It's Alright to Cry -- "crying gets the sad out of you...raindrops from your eyes...it might make you feel better!" I catch even the most feminist of men saying things that indicate that boys need to "tough it out" and girls don't. We still have a long way to go, baby. Tears of frustration.

8. Sisters and Brothers -- "every mother's daughter every father's son..." We are all in this together, all related in the great family of life. Tears...

9. William's Doll -- "William wants a doll, so when he has a baby someday, he'll know how to dress it, put diapers on double and gently caress it to bring up a bubble..." That Grandma ROCKS. I love that she overrides the dad, who is so insistent that his son not have a doll. I definitely thought about this one when we bought our older son a doll. And I love to think about my children growing up to be parents. Tears. Lots of tears.

10. Atalanta -- "smiling with the pleasure of the race, they ran together, side by side, until together they reached the finish line!" What a fantastic story about a princess who refuses to be pigeonholed by her king-father, and her friend who "gets" her. Love it. Tears of joy.

11. Girl-Land -- "you go in a girl and you never get out!" This one always struck me as a little eerie and scary...what are they trying to say? I do think we've come so far in what girls can do that this song almost doesn't mean anything any more. But I still cried because of what so many girls lived through (and girls still live through in so many parts of the world)...

12. Dudley Pippin and His No-Friend -- "he doesn't have a friend either. We can have a club. We can call it the No Friends Club..." Poor sweet, sad Dudley Pippin who cries with the principal and now has to move to a new town and he doesn't seem to understand how to make a friend. After all the other tracks, I was just a mess. You gotta cry for this poor kiddo.

13. Glad to Have a Friend Like You -- "fair and fun and skipping free...glad to have a friend like you and glad to just be me." I have lots of friends. But there are those few friends who are the ones that help me to skip free, help me to just be me. I hope for my children that they have at least one friend like this in their lives. Thinking about their futures, their friends, their growing up....tears.

If you haven't listened to FTBYAM in a while...definitely go check it out. It's now on CD and DVD and I think the whole thing has weathered the test of time well. Let me know what you think.

And see more Thursday Thirteen here.

Off to a Wedding....

In honor of my parents' anniversary in January, I posted 13 Things About Jewish Weddings.

In honor of my cousin's wedding, which I'm attending tonight, I thought I'd post a little about the Sheva Brachot, the Seven Blessings that are a major feature of the Jewish wedding.

1. The Sheva Brachot, or Seven Blessings, are really considered the heart of the wedding ceremony. Asking for abundant blessings for the bride and groom, the blessings are usually sung beautifully and can provide an opportunity for involving friends and loved ones as readers in the ceremony. They are also repeated during the Grace after Meals at the wedding meal and traditionally at seven dinners for seven nights after the wedding. (The couple is usually hosted by friends and relatives each night, the dinners are known as sheva brachot.)

2. The first blessing is: Blessed are You, our God, Ruler of the Universe, Creator of the fruit of the vine. It is said over a cup of wine, which is not drunk until all 7 blessings have been said.

3. "Wine gladdens the heart," the Psalms tell us. So many Jewish occasion are sanctified by a cup of wine.

4. The second blessing is: Blessed are You, our God, Ruler of the universe, Who has created everything for your glory.

5. Marriage is considered to have a higher goal, a higher purpose, for the glory of God. While some people would say that this higher purpose is the creation of children (and that is certainly a high purpose), I would say it is not the only higher purpose of marriage. I do believe that two people coming together to create a holy union of love is in itself for the glory of God.

6. The third blessing: Blessed are You, our God, Ruler of the universe, Creator of Human Beings. The traditional translation (oh, and the Hebrew itself) says "Creator of man." I tend to believe that God created man AND woman.

7. God's creation of humankind enabled God to fully embrace and experience human love, which is truly a unique thing. As I said before, that love is indeed enough.

8. The fourth blessing: Blessed are You, our God, Ruler of the universe, Who has fashioned human beings in your image, according to your likeness and has fashioned from it a lasting mold. Blessed are You Adonai, Creator of Human Beings. Humans again? Yep. Marriage (and its subsequent physical consummation) are perhaps one of our most powerful reminders of our humanity. Where there is love, there is hope.

9. The fifth blessing: Bring intense joy and exultation to the barren one (Jerusalem) through the ingathering of her children amidst her in gladness. Blessed are You, our God, Who gladdens Zion through her children. Jerusalem is always at the forefront of our times of celebration.

10. The psalms tell us to bring Jerusalem to our mind at our times of greatest joy. By ritualizing it, we make certain not to forget.

11. The sixth blessing: Gladden the beloved companions as You gladdened Your creatures in the garden of Eden. Blessed are You, our God, Who gladdens groom and bride. Does it get any better than this? As we come to the joyous culmination of the seven blessings, we are reminded of Paradise, of the Garden of Eden. Every marriage evokes a reminder of the first love on earth.

12. My favorite, and the seventh blessing: Blessed are You, our God, Ruler of the universe, Who created joy and gladness, groom and bride, mirth, glad song, pleasure, delight, love, brotherhood, peace, and companionship. Dear God, let there soon be heard in the cities of Judah and the streets of Jerusalem the sound of joy and the sound of gladness, the voice of the groom and the voice of the bride, the sound of the grooms' jubilance from their canopies and of the youths from their song-filled feasts. Blessed are You Who causes the groom to rejoice with his bride.

As if seven (see #13) wasn't a powerful enough number, this blessing also brings in the number 10. There are 10 adjectives used to describe the happiness that will (hopefully) exist in the household of this couple: joy, gladness, mirth, gladsong, pleasure, delight, love, brotherhood, peace, and companionship. (Were you counting?) Ten reminds us of the 10 commandments, the building blocks of the Torah, and a number considered to be "complete," just like a married couple. (There's actually even more symbolism in this blessing but too much to go into today!)

13. Seven is considered to be a very special number. It is the number of the day of Shabbat, and thus considered to be the number of peace. (And someone once told me that it was Mickey Mantle's number, so that explains it all too...right?) Seven is considered to be a lucky number in other cultures too, so it's very fitting and lucky for the bride and groom to be blessed seven times.

Translations from Gabrielle Kaplan-Mayer at MyJewishLearning.com
See more Thursday Thirteen here.

And a hearty Mazel Tov to the bride and groom, Deena Malka and Yaakov!

Celebrating Shavuot

The holiday of Shavuot is almost here!

While Shavuot is one of the most important Jewish holidays, it does tend to get overlooked.
So here are some things to help you learn more about this holiday!

1. Shavuot falls on the 6th day of Sivan. Its calendaring is directly related to Passover, as it is the end of the period of the counting of the Omer. (In English, it's usually called Pentecost, but the actual translation is "weeks" -- as in the weeks of the counting of the Omer.)

2. Shavuot is considered to be the anniversary of the acceptance of the Torah at Sinai. (That's why it follows Passover -- first we were freed, then we got the Torah.)

3. This is the day that began the season of bringing the first-fruits to the Temple. The first fruits were the first of each harvest to blossom, and were harvested and brought to the priests in a ceremony.

4. It is a tradition to read Akdamut, a liturgical poem, on Shavuot. This long poem is read at the morning service before the reading of Torah.

5. It is customary to eat dairy foods on Shavuot. I like the explanation that the Torah is like "honey and milk" on our tongues as it says in Song of Songs 4:11. Other people say that we did not eat meat before the giving of the Law at Sinai and thus we remember that. Either way, Shavuot is a vegetarian's paradise of a holiday!

6. We read from the Book of Ruth on Shavuot. It is about a woman who chooses to accept the Torah, just as we commemorate our people's acceptance of the Torah. Plus it talks about the harvest. And it's a good read.

7. Midrash teaches that Mt. Sinai burst into blossoms at the giving of the Torah. Perhaps this is why it is customary to decorate synagogues and homes with flowers and greenery for Shavuot.

8. Most people stay up all night on Erev Shavuot, in a practice known as Tikkun Leil Shavuot. The idea is to study Torah all night in preparation for receiving the Torah at Sinai.

9. The idea of staying up all night really took off when coffee became available in Europe.

10. Conservative and Reform congregations typically choose Shavuot to celebrate Confirmation, the high-school affirmation of Jewish identity.

11. There is a slightly obscure tradition of making and displaying papercut-art. (I definitely need to explore this one more. I think there's something fun in this for Shavuot for next year...)

12. You could honor Shavuot by baking a "Bible Cake". It's a cool scavenger hunt through the Bible that yields a cake! How cool is that.

13. And in keeping with the cake idea, Sephardic Jews have the custom to bake a seven-layer cake called Siete Cielos or Seven Heavens. This symbolizes the seven celestial spheres that God traveled to present the Torah to Moses. Seven graduated circular layers are decorated with a star of David, the staff of Moses, the Tablets of the Law, manna, Jacob's ladder and the Ark of the Covenant. Here are some more foodie customs for Shavuot.

Learn more about Shavuot...check out some of Leora's and Ilana-Davita's great posts about it.

See more Thursday Thirteen here.

13 Ways to Celebrate Lag BaOmer

We're in the period of the Omer. You may have noticed that counter over there <---- that my dad made for me. We count the days from Passover until Shavuot, from the Exodus to the Revelation. The period of the Omer is considered a time of semi-mourning, in which certain things are not done. Some people don't cut their hair or have parties or weddings.

But the 33rd day of the Omer, Lag BaOmer, is a little different. (and it starts tonight!)

Why "lag"? It comes from the gematria, or counting, for the day: "lamed", ל, (L, value 30) and "gimel", ג, (G, value 3), making up "Lag" (33) לג. You can learn more about the whole thing here.

The reasons for the significance of the day are a bit mixed. Is it the Yahrzeit of the death of Shimon bar Yochai? (or not?) Does it symbolize the success of Bar Kochba's revolt? Or did it all start with Rabbi Akiva? Who knows, maybe they're all right...or wrong...but either way...

Here are some fun activites to try on Lag BaOmer...

1. Learn to shoot a bow and arrow. (to recall Bar Kochba's revolt)

2. Go on a campout, like Robin.

3. Have a picnic.

4. Make a big ol' bonfire.

5. Study the Zohar.

6. Visit Meron.

7. Cut your child's hair. Jody, are you reading this?

8. Get a commemorative t-shirt.

9. Give tzedakah. It never hurts.

10. Get married. You can't get married any other day of the Omer, so this is your choice between Pesach and Shavuot.

11. Shave...if you're not shaving during the Omer. I hope to post pictures before and after of my brother. Since he hasn't shaved since Pesach. He actually looks pretty good with the beard, tho!

12. Make cookies shaped like the alef-bet. After all, Lag BaOmer is considered a "scholar's festival" and so we should celebrate reading. What other shapes could we make? Books, the Torah, pencils...

13. Blog about it, of course.

More Thursday Thirteen here.

13 Things I Love About Israel

(13 of the 13 bazillion...)

1. Felafel with cheeps and charif and pickles. Mmmmmm....

2. Walking on Ben Yehuda on Motzei Shabbat.

3. Watching kids play in parks that are full of ancient artifacts.

4. The whale sculpture in Old Jaffa.

5. Seeing Israeli kids riding the busses, hanging out, running around, just being kids and speaking Hebrew!

6. Spotting the blue paint in Tsfat.

7. Bumper stickers!!!!

8. The grottos of Rosh Hanikra, especially when the water levels are really high....

9. Watching the faces of first-timers when they really do float in the Dead Sea.

10. Reading Rachel's poems at her graveside.

11. Knowing that the young men and women carrying those big guns are Jewish kids ready to defend their homes and families.

12. Feeling Shabbat as it comes into Jerusalem...the frenzy of activity followed by the lovely calm. (And the shuk - rugelach and tomatoes and hummus and pita and spices and oranges and.....)

13. Feeling like I'm coming home.

Happy 60th Birthday, Israel!

(Read more about my recent Israel trips here and here)

See more Thursday Thirteen here.

Plus, read my 60bloggers post about Israel here.

Great Passover Books for Kids

Here are some of my favorite picture books for Passover...

1. The Matzah Man, a great re-telling of the Gingerbread Man

2. Only Nine Chairs: A Tall Tale for Passover

3. Sammy Spider's First Passover (I ♥ Sammy Spider)

4. Too Many Cooks, a Passover Parable

5. Rebecca's Passover

6. Matzo Ball Moon

7. The Mouse in the Matzah Factory

8. What I Like About Passover (a board book)

9. No Matzah for Me!

10. Matzah Ball: A Passover Story (baseball themed!)

11. The Matzah Ball Fairy

12. The Magician's Visit

13. Matzah Meals: A Passover Cookbook for Kids (and if the theory worked that if the kids cook it, they'll eat it, this one might be right for my family! But alas...picky eaters...)

What are some of your faves?

See more Thursday Thirteen here...

Random Passover Tips and Tricks

Ack! Passover is almost here. A whole bunch of last-minute Pesach tips, tricks, and interesting things...perhaps for Seder conversation....

1. Are you worried about feeding your goldfish this year? In case you are, here is some information on how to make sure that even your fish's diet is appropriately chametz-free.

2. Passover can be, um, binding. One good way to ensure that you stay, um, regular, is to eat dried fruit, or even better -- fruit compote. A yummy recipe: 4 lbs mixed dried fruits, 1 1/2 cups orange juice, 1 1/2 cups water, 1/2 cup sugar, one piece of cinnamon stick or cinnamon powder to taste, peel of one lemon, left in one or more large pieces. Remove the sulfates in the dried fruit first: pour boiling water over the fruit and let stand for at least 1 hour. Drain thoroughly. Put the fruit in a large pot, with all of the ingredients. Bring to a boil, then lower the heat and simmer gently for 30-45 minutes until tender. Cool in the saucepan, remove the lemon peel, and store it in the fridge, covered tightly. It will keep for a long long time. Unless you eat it all.

3. Don't screw up and buy the wrong kind of matzah. FrumeSarah, I'm embarrassed to say that this is what I fell for. Here's how the story goes. This year, Manishewitz isn't making Tam Tams. For those of you who don't know, Tam Tams are wonderful, yummy, not-low-cal crackers made Kosher for Passover each year. They are my family's favorite Pesach food. What I didn't realize was that they were also not making any cracker-shaped matzah stuff this year. I had no idea. I'm a little slow. I thought to myself, maybe I'm just late to the party and it's all been bought at my local stores (did anyone get any???). So I went online to Amazon. I got really excited to find this. I bought it. Late at night, I suddenly realized that this was NOT the Kosher for Passover stuff. Why do they make chametz-dik matzah? Please explain this to me, Manishewitz! I knew this -- I always check my matzah in the store. But online...I got so excited by the matzah cracker shape that I bought ...get this... 12 boxes. Yep, that's how it's sold on Amazon. By the case. My husband got a good laugh that I had just spent hours cleaning my pantry of all the chametz and I went and bought 12 boxes of the stuff. Lovely. Food pantry?

4. If you aren't done yet with the cleaning thing, check out A Mother in Israel's great checklist. I always forget the cars.

5. Check out this beautiful handout from Storahtelling. Try their Leap for Freedom game. It's great!

6. Looking for a new Haggadah? Want some games or stories or ideas for the Seder? They're all over, people.

7. Passover isn't always the most "Green" of holidays - we throw out stuff, we clean frantically, we might use a lot of disposables or papergoods. So here is Hazon's take on sustainable Passover resources.

8. Why put an orange or other innovation on your seder plate? There are a couple of explanations for this - although it's typically thought of as a feminist statement - I like to think of it as inclusive and adding something new to the seder to keep it lively, interesting, and modern. Here are two different opinions and ideas about this, both of which are thought-provoking and interesting. What do you do to make your seder new each year?

9. A video for you:

Plus this very cool ASL version of the Four Questions.

10. Even though the Passover seder talks about our redemption from Egypt, the need for freedom in our world is still ongoing. Here is a wonderful Seder addition from American Jewish World Service, imploring us to remember those in Darfur who are not free from fear and terror.

11. My favorite Passover joke: As Moses was leading the Children of Israel through the parted walls of the Red Sea, some complained of thirst after walking so far, so fast. Unfortunately, they weren't able to drink from the walls of salt water on each side of them. Then a fish from the wall of water stuck his head out and spoke to Moses. He told him his family had heard the complaint, and that they could, thru their own gills, remove the salt from the water, and then force it out of their mouths like a fresh water fountain for the Israelites to drink from! But, said the fish, before his family began to help, they had one demand. They wanted to be a part of history, and wanted to always be a part of the Seder meal to commemorate the Exodus. Moses readily agreed to this, and gave them their name which remains to this very day. He said to them ... "Go, Filter Fish." (you have to say it out loud to get it. trust me. you'll laugh.)

12. My second favorite Passover joke: (these are great for the Seder, I promise!) The queen was going to knight a prominent Jew in England. He was welcomed to the palace along with all the other knights-to-be. They were instructed to go before the Queen, kneel down, and recite a phrase in Latin. All the other candidates nodded. The Jewish almost-knight said it over and over to himself, trying to remember it. When it was his turn to stand before the Queen, the phrase simply flew out of his head and he said the first non-English phrase that came to mind: "Mah nishtanah halaila hazeh mikol ha-laylot?" And the Queen turned to her advisors nearby and said, "Why is this knight different from all other knights?" (it gets 'em every year!)

13. Make sure you look up on Seder night. Hopefully the sky will be clear and you can see the beautiful full moon. The beautiful fullness represents, I believe, the beautiful fullness of Jewish life, especially on this night, the night that so many Jews and friends around the world are sharing in the Feast of Freedom. What an amazing moment for us all to know that we are all telling the same story, we are all re-living the dramatic moment in which we celebrated the understanding of the true meaning of freedom.

May this holiday bring joy and peace. Chag sameach!

See more Thursday Thirteen here.

Passover Musical Adventures!

Part of preparing for Pesach (Passover) in our house is to pull out all the Passover music/cds. (Actually, now that I have an iPod, I made a Passover Playlist in my iTunes...but that's another post, I think.)

In no particular order, some of our favorite Pesach songs/albums:

1. Paul Zim's Seder Night, which has some great traditional songs rendered in a listenable format. I really like this one! (This is the one we listen to the most and it's helpful for teaching the Four Questions)

2. Celebrate Passover, put together by Craig Taubman, a little eclectic but worth a listen.

3. Reggae Passover do I need to say more?

4. A Taste of Passover with Theodore Bikel (who my parents dragged me to hear when I was in high school and I wish that I had appreciated it then...)

5. The So-Called Seder: A Hip Hop Haggadah with Matisyahu and others

6. The Passover Lounge, also put together by Craig Taubman

7. ShirLaLa Pesach! by Shira Levine

8. Miracles: Chanukah and Passover Songs for Kids by Jill Moskowitz (this is where the iPod comes in handy! Half the album is in the Passover Playlist and half is in the Chanukah Playlist. Perfect.)

9. Let my People Go! A Jewish and African-American Celebration of Freedom by Kim & Reggie Harris

10. Peri Smilow and the Freedom Music Project - she is great!

11. The Journey Continues, by Debbie Friedman (the First Lady of Jewish Music)

12. Rabbi Joe Black's Alef-Bet Boogie has 2 great Passover songs: Afikomen Mambo and a nice version of Dayenu.

13. And don't I wish some of these Chanukah cd's had Passover versions?????

What Passover music do you like? How do you get your family in the Pesach mood?

P.S. Looking for How to Lead a Seder? Check out my guide on Amazon.
And here are some of my favorite Pesach cookbooks...
More coming...it's that time of year!

More Thursday Thirteeners here...

13 Things I Love About Purim!

The Jewish holiday is coming up...

1. Purim is a Jewish holiday that celebrates the redemption of the Jewish people from the evil Haman's plot to destroy them in Persia. It's based on the Book of Esther.

2. The holiday is celebrated with a lot of fun and silliness, involving costumes, noise-makers, and food.

3. There are four important mitzvot, commandments, that are required for the holiday.

4. First is to hear the Megillah, the Book of Esther, read aloud. This is usually a lot of fun -- we read the whole story or sometimes tell it in a "Purim Spiel", a play that tells the story. When we hear the name of Haman, everyone makes a lot of noise using their graggers (noisemakers of all kinds), to "blot out" the name of the evil man who tried to kill all the Jews in Persia.

5. Second is to celebrate with a Purim Seudah, a Purim meal and party. What could be better than a holiday that requires a party? We usually celebrate with a Purim Carnival, which is a lot of fun for everyone involved!

6. Third is the requirement to send Mishloach Manot, gifts of food and treats that are sent to friends and family. It is a lot of fun to do and a wonderful way for me as a Jewish girl to make use of all the fun holiday treat ideas that I bookmarked back in November/December...in preparation for Purim!

7. Fourth is the requirement for Matanot L'Evyonim - gifts of money or food to support the poor. This is such a wonderful part of every Jewish holiday, making sure that even those who are in need can celebrate on this day.

8. The day before Purim is the Fast of Esther, in which we recall how Esther fasted before she approached the king to ask for his help. Some women have taken this day as an opportunity to remember those women who are trapped in marriages without the ability to get an Jewish divorce. These women are known as agunot, chained women, as their hands are tied by the rabbinic courts, which won't give the divorce without the consent of their husbands. Read more about agunot here and here, and here is one event in Jerusalem in honor of Yom ha-Agunot.

9. One of the most well-known Purim treats is the hamantashen, a three-cornered filled pastry. Yum!

10. Every year my mom makes a million hamatashen, using my great-aunt Dora's recipe. In 1976, my mom followed my Aunt Dora around and measured after she put it all in the bowl in order to "capture" the recipe. And you know what, it's a fantastic recipe. I even have some to take with me to Israel to my brother.

11. It's also customary to drink alcohol at Purim celebrations, "ad lo yada..." "A person should drink on Purim until the point where they can't tell the difference between "Blessed is Mordechai" and "Cursed is Haman." (Talmud - Megillah 7a; Code of Jewish Law 695:2) Obviously, alcohol should be used in moderation. I think this gives us the reminder that the holiday of Purim is a wonderful opportunity to celebrate for adults as well! Too often this holiday is relegated to a "children's celebration" but there is power in adults finding silliness in their lives once in a while too.

12. The Book of Esther has no mention of God in it. We remember God's "hiddenness" when we hide ourselves behind masks to celebrate this day. We remember that God's name may be hidden, but we are all God's agents in the world. Esther has to take matters into her own hands. Sometimes we have to remember that we are all created in the image of God, and we should act like it!

13. One of the most interesting characters in the Book of Esther is Vashti, the king's first wife, who refuses to dance naked for her drunk husband. She is replaced as the queen by the lovely young Esther. Vashti is a strong, powerful woman who isn't afraid to say no. Esther is also strong in her own right, as she stands up for her people when asked. This is a great holiday for rockin' female role models!

Hooray for Purim!

Check out this funny Purim Rap...

(See more Thursday13 here)
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Facts About Trees & Green GIVEAWAY

Tu B'Shevat, the birthday of the trees (or the new year of the trees) is a minor Jewish holiday, and you can read more about it here and also at Robin's great blog here (she is a few hours ahead of me so her post was up way before mine!)

In honor of Tu B'Shevat...here are 13 reasons trees are important (and a few facts about trees in Israel for good measure...):

1. Trees are a source of shade when the sun is hot. They protect our homes, our grass, our land, from the heat of the sun. Trees control climate by moderating the effects of the sun, rain and wind. Leaves absorb and filter the sun's radiant energy, keeping things cool in summer.

2. Trees produce nourishing fruits and nuts for humans to eat.

3. Trees purify the air we breathe and are sometimes called the "green lungs" of our cities.

4. Trees help prevent the soil from erosion and the land from becoming a desert.

5. Trees can be beautiful and inspiring to gaze upon. As the old adage goes, “I have never seen something as beautiful as a tree.”

6. Many animals, including elephants, koalas and giraffes eat leaves for nourishment. Flowers are eaten by monkeys, and nectar is a favorite of birds, bats and many insects. Animals also eat much of the same fruit that we enjoy.

7. Hundreds of living creatures call trees their home. Leaf-covered branches keep many animals, such as birds and squirrels, out of the reach of predators.

8. They have a wide variety of practical and commercial uses. Wood was the very first fuel, and is still used for cooking and heating by about half of the world's population. Trees provide timber for building construction, furniture manufacture, tools, sporting equipment, and thousands of household items. Wood pulp is used to make paper.

9. The bark of some trees can be made into cork and is a source of chemicals and medicines. Quinine and aspirin are both made from bark extracts. The inner bark of some trees contains latex, the main ingredient of rubber.

10. Today, there are over 200 million trees in Israel – forests of pine, tamarisk, carob and eucalyptus.

11. Since its founding, the Jewish National Fund has planted more than 240 million trees in Israel to protect the land, prevent soil erosion, green the landscape and preserve vital ecosystems.

12. Israel is the only country in the world that entered the 21st century with a net gain in numbers of trees.

13. The Yatir Forest, which grows on the edge of the desert, is the largest of Israel’s man-planted forests. The father of afforestation in Israel, Yosef Weitz, jabbed the ground of Yatir with his walking stick and declared: "A forest will grow here!" contradicting the experts who argued that it was impossible for trees to grow on such arid soil. Which generally sums up Jewish gumption!

Some of these are from SavATree and some are from Jewish National Fund.
See more Thursday Thirteen here...

And now....The Giveaway:
In honor of Tu B'Shevat (the Birthday of the Trees) and the commitment to the earth that the holiday brings with it (read more here and here), Skeeda: Reusable Bags for the Hip, Eco-Chic Shopper is giving away one gorgeous, awesome re-usable shopping (shlepping) bag! The bag is very strong, washable, folds flat and is beautiful! Visit their lovely site to see all their affordable and beautiful styles. (Read more about re-usable bags here.)


How can you win?

1. Make a comment here or on yesterday's Tu B'Shevat posts . Do you use reusable bags for groceries, lunch, shlepping? This is your entry! You can enter each day - once per day. Come back and visit all week for this and other giveaways.

2. For an extra entry, post on your blog or tell a friend about this giveaway and Skeeda's Bags and link back to me. Use my button:

<a href="http://imabima.blogspot.com"><img src="http://i214.photobucket.com/albums/cc126/imabima/tubshevatparty.jpg" border="0" alt="Birthday Party for the Trees at imabima.blogspot.com"></a>

3. Don't forget to give me a way to get in touch with you if you win!

4. This giveaway ends on Thursday, January 18th at 9pm Central Time. Winner will be announced Friday morning, along with the next Tu B'Shevat Birthday Giveaway!

Come back all week for the Tu B'Shevat Birthday Party and more green green green....re-use a bag, hug a tree!

My Previous Tu B'Shevat Party Posts:
Go Vegetarian and be green?
For the Love of the Trees
Waste Not...

Making New Year's Resolutions, sort of

I am not usually one to make New Year's resolutions. In fact, I generally consider January 1st to be an interesting change but never feels "different" in the way that Rosh HaShanah does for me. But this year, in the last week of December, I came across the 101 in 1001 challenge. The idea of creating 101 things to do in such a lengthy period of time (1001 days) is more interesting to me than making loose resolutions that I may or may not keep in a year. I had a number of ideas for my list but many of them involved my husband and family. So I convinced begged invited my husband to join me in the challenge. Together we made a list of 50 things to do in 1001 days, and then we each made a list of 51 more personal things. Some of them are simple: Take our vitamins every day (#7), kiss a child every day (#2), some are fun: watch one movie together each week (#23), change the CDs in the car once a month (#34), some are big projects: organize our closet (#44), organize the basement once a month until it's done (#29)....some are private!

My personal list is somewhat similar -- a mishmosh of difficult and simple things that I hope will change my life, make it different, make it more interesting, more beautiful. Here are 13 of my 51 in 1001...

1. Go to gym once a week. One week each month, go 2x a week. (this is actually 2 separate ones)
2. Keep track of all the books I read.
3. Make sure I'm in more of the pictures.
4. Attempt one month each year of the 365 Photos Challenge.
5. Execute one crafty project every three months.
6. Buy bottled water no more than 1x a month (use water bottle).
7. Use travel mug at least twice for every 6 visits to coffee place.
8. One month each year, no Starbucks at all.
9. Start a vegetable garden.
10. Attempt to have a neighborhood block party.
11. Do the Printz Award Challenge (read six of the Printz Award winners)
12. Make soup once a month.
13. Use slow cooker 3x each winter.

What are some of your goals? I think this challenge is so powerful because of the length of it. I am keeping the list posted in my kitchen, inside a cupboard, divided by daily, weekly, monthly, yearly tasks.

Stay tuned for updates on my 101 in 1001 progress...
See more Thursday Thirteen here.

Happy Anniversary, Mom & Dad

Today is my parents' 38th wedding anniversary. In honor of them, I present 13 things about Jewish weddings.

1. First, you gotta get engaged. The engagement can be celebrated at an engagement party/announcement party, known in frum circles as a "vort". The parents of the bride and groom may sign an agreement, called "tenaim" or, in most modern circles, probably not. An old custom is for the mothers of the bride and groom to break a plate together to symbolize that their children will no longer be eating at their tables. Also, it symbolizes the unbreakable nature of the engagement.

2. There are restrictions in the Jewish calendar as to when a wedding can take place. No weddings on Shabbat - from Friday sundown to Saturday sundown. Traditionally, Jews have been prohibited from getting married during the period of the Omer, the days between Passover and Shavuot. In addition, the three weeks before Tisha B'Av (usually August) are also considered prohibited. Most of these restrictions are eased by Reform and some Conservative rabbis because these are considered "semi-mourning" rather than full mourning periods. For more information on this, go here. On the upside, Tuesdays are considered auspicious days to get married, as is Rosh Chodesh, the new moon. The month of Elul, preceeding the High Holy Days, is very busy but also considered a good time to get married because the name Elul is an acronym for the Song of Songs phrase "I am my beloved and my beloved is mine."

3. It is customary for both the bride and groom to go to the mikveh, the ritual bath, before their wedding. Read more about my experiences with the mikveh here.

4. Before the wedding, a marriage contract called a Ketubah is signed. (This is in addition to a civil marriage license.) Historically only the groom signed the document (and still the way things go in the Orthodox community) but most modern Jews choose to view the ketubah as a more egalitarian document. Many ketubot (plural of ketubah) are beautiful pieces of art that the bride and groom later hang in their home. My favorite thing about the ketubah is that even in the past, it was always considered the property of the woman, and was her insurance that is her husband wanted a divorce, she would receive back her bride price (goats...).

5. After the signing of the ketubah, it is customary to veil the bride, a ceremony known as the bedeken. The groom himself places the veil on his bride, to ensure that he is marrying the right woman. This tradition stems from Jacob's experience with Leah & Rachel in the Torah.

6. Traditionally the bride wears a white dress and the groom a white garment called a kittel. The kittel is also worn on Yom Kippur, and symbolizes personal purity. On the day of one's wedding, it is a chance to start fresh, and considered an opportunity for personal repentance.

6. Bride and Groom stand together under a chuppah, a marriage canopy that symbolizes the home they are about to create. It is probably the most recognizable symbol of a Jewish wedding.

7. There is a custom among many Jews that after walking down the aisle to the chuppah, the bride makes seven circles around the groom, to symbolize the protective circle of their marriage. Modern interpretations of this custom have the bride making 3 circles around the groom, the groom 3 around the bride, and 1 circle together.

8. The wedding ceremony itself is actually 2 ceremonies joined together. Wine is blessed and rings are exchanged (traditionally only the bride receives a ring but many couples exchange rings now). Rings are required to be unbroken circles, traditionally unadorned, to symbolize the never-ending circle of their love.

9. A Jewish wedding can be performed by any Jewish adult. A rabbi isn't exactly necessary. Civil law requires an officiant, however, who is licensed to perform marriages, and rabbis do fit the bill. In addition, a rabbi is likely to help the couple view their wedding as part of the whole of the Jewish community.

10. The Sheva Brachot, or Seven Blessings, are really considered the heart of the wedding ceremony. Asking for abundant blessings for the bride and groom, the blessings are usually sung beautifully and can provide an opportunity for involving friends and loved ones as readers in the ceremony. They are also repeated during the Grace after Meals at the wedding meal and traditionally at seven dinners for seven nights after the wedding. (The couple is usually hosted by friends and relatives each night, the dinners are known as sheva brachot.)

11. The final piece of a wedding ceremony is the breaking of the glass. The custom has many rationales. I like a few of them: the broken glass reminds us the brokenness of the world, even in the midst of our happiness; reminds us of those who wait for a day as happy as this one; defines the unbreakable bond of the couple; the thousands of pieces of the glass are the number of times by which the happiness of the couple will be multiplied.

11. After the ceremony, the couple gets a few moments of seclusion, known as yichud. It's a chance for the couple to connect, eat (traditionally they've been fasting all day), and share a few moments alone before the rush of the festive meal to follow!

12. Many consider the first year of a couple's married life to be special. Some follow "sweet" customs, such as dipping their Shabbat challah in honey each week instead of the customary salt. It is a chance to begin their lives together!

13. Every Jewish wedding is unique, and every community has its own customs and standards. Attending a Jewish wedding? Don't hesitate to ask questions. One great resource for attending all religious experiences is How to Be a Perfect Stranger: The Essential Religious Etiquette Handbook.

Happy Anniversary, Mom & Dad! May this year be the best yet.

See more Thursday Thirteen here.

Birthday Fun and Games

So Frume Sarah tagged me a while back for a meme of 7 things about me...but since it's my birthday tomorrow, I thought I'd respond with a little Thursday Thirteen...so here goes...with, of course, a birthday theme.

1. I really remember the birthday party (I think it was age 4) at home when we ate hot dogs and cake.

2. I have only been in school once on my birthday, during my year in Israel, and I was able to read Torah on my birthday. Just once. I've never brought a birthday treat to school on my birthday!

3. Even my Bat Mitzvah was not celebrated anywhere near my birthday because why have a party in Wisconsin in December if you don't have to? April was the way to go.

4. I have 3 kids but I was only pregnant on my birthday with one of them - the 3rd.

5. I actually have a friend whose birthday is the same day. And she has a twin. So that's three people that I know that share my birthday!

6. When I was young, I had birthday parties at the roller rink, the ice-skating rink, Hardee's, and Grounde Rounde. Then we switched for a while to New Year's Eve slumber parties (the middle school years) until one girl threw up at 3am and wanted to go home. Then the slumber parties took a hiatus.

7. The year I turned 8 I had a princess cake. The cake part looked like a big skirt and there was a barbie-ish doll stuck in the top but she had no legs. The reason I remember this so clearly is that it's also the year that my brother was born and he was only about 15 days old at that party. I remember him crying a lot.

8. One year I demanded a purple cake. My mom obliged but I remember that it was more lilac than purple.

9. The birthday before I got married, my then-fiancee bought me a Palm Pilot. It has changed my life! Digital organization rocks my world.

10. I have attended a wedding and a Bar Mitzvah on my birthday.

11. On my 18th birthday I went to Village Hall and registered to vote. I think they thought I was a big geek but it was a big deal to me!

12. On my 21st birthday, I did the requisite bar-hopping in Madison, Wisconsin. A friend insisted I lay down on a pool table so she could take a silly photograph of me doing something silly on my 21st birthday.

13. I have joked that I received a "directional upgrade" for my 30th birthday. I wonder what kind of upgrade I'll get for 31?

See more Thursday Thirteen here.

13 Random Things I've Learned So Far at the Biennial

1. Drama is good. A little sparkle and flash goes a long way toward creating excitement! The Voice of God that speaks at the Oscars has joined us here at the Biennial as well. (you know, "now presenting...the President of the Academy the Union for Reform Judaism!
2. There are so many Jews from so many places with similar experiences.
3. Even in California, you need a coat at night!
4. There is a desire amongst the participants (and hopefully translating into the rest of the Jewish community?) for creative and interesting worship and learning experiences.
5. Wearing a badge means that everyone will smile at you. Even if they don't know you. And you'll invite people you've never met before to join your table in a restaurant just because they're also a part of this grand shared experience.
6. Two Starbucks are still not enough for one convention center.
7. The coffee is cheaper a block away from the convention center.
8. The coffee is necessary.
9. Walking shoes are a must for the Biennial. An absolute must.
10. Even with all the potential and possibility of the new prayerbook, there is still a need for handouts. What happened to a Green Biennial?
11. The shopping opens at 11am today. Can't wait!
12. I still can't get over what a room full of Jews looks like. And I'm a Jewish professional! It's pretty amazing to me that I've been a rabbi for almost 5 years, I'm not new at this -- and yet I still find great joy in being in a roomful of Jews sharing in prayer, worship, study....
13. It's impossible to see and do it all!



See more Thursday Thirteen here...

Chanukah Giveaway & 13 Green Tips

13 Ways to Have a Green Chanukah
(or any holiday, for that matter)

1. Save paper - send e-cards instead!

2. Give environmentally conscious gifts that are renewable or reusable -- CFL lightbulbs, travel mugs, reusable water bottles, cloth bags, linen napkins, reusable lunchboxes...heck, reusable grocery bags are super-hot right now - give one or two tied with a pretty ribbon!

3. Give gifts of time or that will be "used up" -- gift certificates for massages, for special outings or babysitting, tickets to shows or concerts, magazine subscriptions, baked goods or food gifts (see below for the giveaway!) etc.

4. 8 nights, make 8 green resolutions for you and your family. Here's a list of suggestions from the Coalition on Environment in Jewish Life. Some ideas: agree to drive less, turn the heat down one degree, recycle more, etc.

5. Host Green parties for the holidays. Use e-vites, dim the lights, give each guest a mug or glass as their "party gift" and ask them to use it throughout the night (think of how many cups you'll save)

6. Go vegetarian for a few nights of the holiday or for all of the holiday!

7. Pay attention to your consumption and waste. Did you know between Thanksgiving and New Year’s Day alone, Americans produce an extra one million tons of trash per week compared to any other time of the year. Try to throw away less during this holiday.

8. Make gifts from recycled objects. Wow, quite a list here.

9. Turn off the lights and watch the Chanukah candles burn. Save electricity by spending an electricity-free evening -- skip the computer, the tv, the ipod, and share a family game night or story night.

10. Pack your lunch and celebrate Chanukah each day by eating in. Try a Peanut Butter & Jelly Sandwich. You'd be amazed at how one sandwich can change the world.

11. Give the gift of your own time. Find a place to take your family and volunteer during the holiday.

12. Going out shopping? Prepare your trip in advance so as to use the least amount of fuel by getting as much as possible in one place. Save trips!

13. Be conscious of your wrapping -- use cloth bags, tie a ribbon, recycle wrapping paper or newspaper...The average consumer wraps 20 gifts during the holidays. If just three of those gifts were wrapped in cloth bags, the paper saved could cover 45,000 football fields! (Source: Cygnus Group)

(See more Thursday Thirteen here)

And now...the Giveaway!

I am so excited to offer a FREE Chanukah gift tray ($25 value) from the Oh! Nuts, a company offering beautiful food gifts of chocolate and nuts.
(although truthfully, you can use the gift certificate to buy non-Chanukah items too!)

Plus! A Chanukah discount...10% off a a Chanukah or any order on http://www.ohnuts.com/, just use code HBW1116 when checking out.

How you can win:
1. Make a comment here or on any of my Chanukah Countdown Party posts. Say something nice about Chanukah. This is your entry! You can enter each day - once per day. Come back and visit all week!
2. If you feel so inclined (I'd like it a lot), post on your blog or tell a friend about this giveaway and link back to me.
(you can grab my Chanukah Countdown Party code too:
<a href="http://imabima.blogspot.com" target="_blank"><img src="http://i214.photobucket.com/albums/cc126/imabima/chanukahcountdown.jpg" border="0" alt="Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket"></a>)
3. Don't forget to give me a way to get in touch with you if you win!
4. Contest ends on Sunday, December 2nd at 5pm. I will post the winner Monday morning!

Previous Chanukah Countdown Party Posts:

How do you spell Chanukah?
What works for me on Chanukah


Join the party!

Happy Birthday Thursday Thirteen

Six years ago today, I had my first baby.
Happy Birthday David!

Here are 13 random remembrances on his sixth birthday...

1. The night before David was born, I ate a cheese sandwich at 10pm. My water broke at 2am. Good thing I'd had a snack!

2. Our graduate school, Hebrew Union College, was next door to the ho