#blogElul 11: count

When I saw that the topic for day 11 was "count," I knew I had written a post about this topic before. In fact, I've written a couple. One about how Jews like to count. And we do, we really really like it.

Then I remembered another post, which I wrote during this year's Omer period. I talked about the different type of counting in which my family is engaged, the counting of white blood cells and neutrophils and ounces of water and days in the hospital.

Tomorrow begins Sam's bone marrow transplant process. Tomorrow we start a whole new kind of counting. Days until transplant. Days post-transplant. Those numbers will again consume and become our whole lives. Platelet and hemoglobin counts. And new numbers, ones that we've never seen before. Kidney levels, cyclosporine levels, and chimerism numbers. Plus about a billion more numbers...that we have to count.

As a mom of four kids, I'm always counting heads and making sure that I've got everyone. As Sam prepares to go into the hospital, I'm going to be counting heads in a different way. One-two-three...and Sam in the hospital. I am filled with fear that someday my counting will change. I know parents who are counting so very differently...but I try not to think about it. I try not to imagine what it's like to count a different way, a different number, I try not to imagine the pain of that accounting.

It's Elul. It's the time to think big and deep and scary thoughts.

Instead, I'm hoping to be distracted by the numbers. I'm hoping that the actions of counting will consume my time and my mind and let me sink into the depths of the details. I'm hoping that the small actions and details will help us to get where we need to go -- with our mind on the goal, a bright and light-filled future.

I'm counting on it.

The Jewish month of Elul, which precedes the High Holy Days, is traditionally a time of renewal and reflection. It offers a chance for spiritual preparation for the Days of Awe. It is traditional to begin one’s preparation for the High Holy Days during this month with the Selichot, the prayers of forgiveness. We look to begin the year with a clean slate, starting anew, refreshed. All month, along with others, I'll be blogging a thought or two for each day to help with the month of preparation... I will be blogging here, and sharing #Elulgram photos on the same themes at imabima.tumblr.com. Follow me on twitter @imabima for all the #BlogElul posts, not only mine but others' as well! This year, I'm not doing a linky or anything like that -- I'm conserving energy! So be sure to tag your posts on Twitter and Facebook so I can catch them with my alerts....

#blogelul 10: see

I really want to write a post about seeing and photographing. Does it change an event when we take pictures of it? Do we remember it more if we have to SEE every moment or if we know we will have photos to remind us? Or do we see more because we are looking for the perfect shot to capture it -- does this quest for the details help us to see more?

I will write that post someday but today I just leave the questions here. 

Ah, Elul....

#blogElul 9: Hear

I love this story about the well-known violinist Joshua Bell playing in a D.C. Metro stop. Did people stop and listen? This is a good reminder of the importance of not just hearing, but also really listening.

So what are you failing to hear....?

The Jewish month of Elul, which precedes the High Holy Days, is traditionally a time of renewal and reflection. It offers a chance for spiritual preparation for the Days of Awe. It is traditional to begin one’s preparation for the High Holy Days during this month with the Selichot, the prayers of forgiveness. We look to begin the year with a clean slate, starting anew, refreshed. All month, along with others, I'll be blogging a thought or two for each day to help with the month of preparation... I will be blogging here, and sharing #Elulgram photos on the same themes at imabima.tumblr.com. Follow me on twitter @imabima for all the #BlogElul posts, not only mine but others' as well! This year, I'm not doing a linky or anything like that -- I'm conserving energy! So be sure to tag your posts on Twitter and Facebook so I can catch them with my alerts....

#blogElul 8: believe

Reposted from 2012

Faith.
It's one of those weird words that often gives people the willies.
"You've gotta have faith."
But many of us are worried.
What does it mean to have faith?
Do I have to give up my belief that my actions can impact what happens to me?
Is it entirely in Someone Else's hand?
Can I be a "person of faith" without become what others might consider a fanatic?

To have faith is simply to believe.
I often remark that "people of faith" can share an understanding of what it means to live a life guided by religious belief. Even if our faith differs, we can understand how those religious traditions and ideals can be so beneficial and influencing.

So often we worry what that faith is. We want, we need, to name it.

But faith is, I think, broader than that. An inherent ideal that belief, in and of itself, has an incredible power. It's often misused. It's often taken too far.

How can we get to the very ideal of faith - in ourselves and each other, and in our religious traditions - without judgment or recrimination? An acceptance that it is the very act of belief itself that makes us so much more alike than we are different...

You've gotta have faith.

Read this wonderful words from Rabbi Eric Yoffie from a few years ago about what it means to be a liberal person of faith.

The Jewish month of Elul, which precedes the High Holy Days, is traditionally a time of renewal and reflection. It offers a chance for spiritual preparation for the Days of Awe. It is traditional to begin one’s preparation for the High Holy Days during this month with the Selichot, the prayers of forgiveness. We look to begin the year with a clean slate, starting anew, refreshed. All month, along with others, I'll be blogging a thought or two for each day to help with the month of preparation... I will be blogging here, and sharing #Elulgram photos on the same themes at imabima.tumblr.com. Follow me on twitter @imabima for all the #BlogElul posts, not only mine but others' as well! This year, I'm not doing a linky or anything like that -- I'm conserving energy! So be sure to tag your posts on Twitter and Facebook so I can catch them with my alerts....

#blogElul 7: BE

Yesterday's word was "do" and today's is "be."

I have heard the expression, "we are not called 'human doings', we are called 'human beings'."

Is it our actions that define us?
Or is it our very existence?

Is it enough just to BE or do we have to fill that being with meaning and action?
Is our being meaningful enough on its own....

Oh, Elul....

The Jewish month of Elul, which precedes the High Holy Days, is traditionally a time of renewal and reflection. It offers a chance for spiritual preparation for the Days of Awe. It is traditional to begin one’s preparation for the High Holy Days during this month with the Selichot, the prayers of forgiveness. We look to begin the year with a clean slate, starting anew, refreshed. All month, along with others, I'll be blogging a thought or two for each day to help with the month of preparation... I will be blogging here, and sharing #Elulgram photos on the same themes at imabima.tumblr.com. Follow me on twitter @imabima for all the #BlogElul posts, not only mine but others' as well! This year, I'm not doing a linky or anything like that -- I'm conserving energy! So be sure to tag your posts on Twitter and Facebook so I can catch them with my alerts....

#blogElul 6: Do

Do what you can

with what you have

where you are. 

I love these words because they remind me that while I am always striving to be my best self, I have to live in this moment, where I am, at this time. 

Some days I am able to do more. 

Many days less. 

But I make do

with that which is in me....

each day is its own time,

 its own place, 

its own moment of being. 

We get lost, I think,

when we forget to re-assess. 

Where am I now?

What do I have?

What can I do?

It changes constantly. 

But we forget to recheck.

We forget to check in

with ourselves and 

with others. 

Some days I can do more. 

And some less. 

And if I forget to reassess 

I might be sad or mad or glad 

that this day wasn't like the one before.

Do what you can

with what you have

where you are. 

The Jewish month of Elul, which precedes the High Holy Days, is traditionally a time of renewal and reflection. It offers a chance for spiritual preparation for the Days of Awe. It is traditional to begin one’s preparation for the High Holy Days during this month with the Selichot, the prayers of forgiveness. We look to begin the year with a clean slate, starting anew, refreshed. All month, along with others, I'll be blogging a thought or two for each day to help with the month of preparation... I will be blogging here, and sharing #Elulgram photos on the same themes at imabima.tumblr.com. Follow me on twitter @imabima for all the #BlogElul posts, not only mine but others' as well! This year, I'm not doing a linky or anything like that -- I'm conserving energy! So be sure to tag your posts on Twitter and Facebook so I can catch them with my alerts....

#blogElul 5: know

What do I

know?

Facts

Dates

Weights

Measures

Phone numbers

Birthdates

Ideas

We are a 

collection of

data. 

What do I 

really 

know?

The touch of her fingertips

The feel of his breath

The light in her eyes

The presence of

love. 

This I know. 

The Jewish month of Elul, which precedes the High Holy Days, is traditionally a time of renewal and reflection. It offers a chance for spiritual preparation for the Days of Awe. It is traditional to begin one’s preparation for the High Holy Days during this month with the Selichot, the prayers of forgiveness. We look to begin the year with a clean slate, starting anew, refreshed. All month, along with others, I'll be blogging a thought or two for each day to help with the month of preparation... I will be blogging here, and sharing #Elulgram photos on the same themes at imabima.tumblr.com. Follow me on twitter @imabima for all the #BlogElul posts, not only mine but others' as well! This year, I'm not doing a linky or anything like that -- I'm conserving energy! So be sure to tag your posts on Twitter and Facebook so I can catch them with my alerts....