My Four Children

It was recently pointed out to me that I have FOUR children.

And then I thought about it and did a big ol' head smack. Right! I have FOUR children. Just like in the Seder.

The wise.
The wicked.
The simple.
And the one who doesn't know how to ask.

So...all week, I've been musing about whether or not my four children fit into the model of the Big Four. Do I have one of each?

David could be the Wise child. After all, he is the oldest. He is really bright and seems to know a lot. He remembers what we have taught from year to year and he's excited to show off his knowledge. He is also wise in the sense that he is excited to teach it all to his siblings.

Solly is obviously the one who doesn't know how to ask. Too young to do much more than drool or nap through the Seder, he will certainly gain the capacity over the years, God willing.

That leaves the Wicked and the Simple children. And I must admit that neither of my remaining little people fall into these categories...all the time. I can certainly consider various times that both of them might be considered the "wicked" one - the times when they refuse to participate, when they throw back to me comments that are meant to hurt, knowing how important this all is to me. Statements like, "I don't want to learn how to say the four questions," or "Do we HAVE to go to Seder?" are clearly designed to get my goat (Passover pun alert) but I also know that they are young and will probably turn into the Wise children as time goes on...and sometimes they are both the Simple children. They don't quite know exactly what this is all about, because they are young and it seems so complicated. So for them we must make the Seder fun and engaging, so that their memories of the Seder are warm and welcoming, so that in time they will WANT to learn more, to grow more, to be more and do more.

So maybe I've got it all wrong. It doesn't seem quite right to categorize my children in such a definitive way. After all, even though I said that David could be the Wise child, he also has the capacity for refusing to participate, for challenging and questioning the whole foundation and purpose of the Seder. And it seems unfair to categorize Solly before he's even half a year old, for goodness' sake!

I think what the Seder is getting at with this idea of Four Children is the same lesson that I try to remind myself of every day as I interact with my children: each of them are unique in their own way. I have to meet them where they are, at the place and time that they are. Some days, it might be in a wise place. Some days, it might be a simple place. Some days, it might even be a wicked place. And some days, they might not even know what to say or how to ask.

And then I just hold them tightly and tell them I love them.

Chag sameach...a zissen Pesach. 
May this holiday bring blessings and joy to you and all your loved ones.

Before I Had Children {Re-Post}

I was browsing for an old post and I came across this one that I wrote in 2007.It's remarkable how true it all still is...so I thought I'd re-post it for today...

----

I'm grateful for my children because....

1. Before I had children, I thought that the best thing in the world was sleeping in. Now I know that the best thing in the world is waking up to a giggly voice telling stories to a little sister or brother in the morning.

2. Before I had children, I thought that the best food was served in fine restaurants. Now I know that the best thing to eat is tofu hot-dog roll-ups slathered in ketchup, served with tater tots. ("My favorite food, Mom!")

3. Before I had children, I thought I liked taking my husband out to the movies on a Saturday night. Now I know that what I really like is cuddling with him on the couch, watching a movie from Netflix and knowing that all the children are snug in their beds and I'm not paying for a babysitter!

4. Before I had children, I thought that breakfast was cereal with milk. Now I know that bananas are an absolute human necessity and when they're not around, we all suffer. Oh, and coffee too.

5. Before I had children, farm animals were an interesting curiosity. Now I am fully aware of the noises, habits, and textures of each kind of animal. Especially pigs. And horses.

6. Before I had children, I thought naps were for babies. Now I know that naps are for babies...and toddlers and preschoolers and, most importantly, mommies and daddies.

7. Before I had children, I saw construction zones and sites as a noisy nuisance. Now they are infinite sources of joy and interest. I can identify diggers and rollers and cranes with ease.

8. Before I had children, the arrival of lights and sirens meant that I had to pull over. Now I have to pull over and cheer for the police!

9. Before I had children, holidays were times to delve deep into study and prayer, celebrating in the most spiritual fashion possible. Now I learn new things each year about the holidays as I consider new and different ways to share them with my children and make them relevant and exciting.

10. Before I had children, the camera was taken out for special occasions. Now I know the importance of recording as many "ordinary moments" as possible. I know that each of those ordinary moments is actually a special occasion.

11. Before I had children, grocery shopping was just a part of life. Now it's an important part of each week, devoted to ensuring that the food I buy for my kids is the best for them. And when they come along? It becomes a math lesson, a social justice lesson, a nutrition lesson, a religious lesson, a behavior lesson, and a personal finance lesson. Before I had children, I couldn't imagine filling a grocery cart to the top. Now I sometimes consider a second cart!

12. Before I had children, I liked to keep my car clean and didn't understand how cars could get so dirty. Now that I have children, I know that it's a losing battle against graham cracker crumbs, sweaters, toys, sippy cups, juice boxes, strollers, carseats....and I still don't understand how my car gets so dirty!

13. Before I had children, I thought that children were important, but I never imagined what my life would really be like. Now, I can't imagine my life without them. I can't imagine what I would be like if I didn't have these little people who daily teach me the joys of life and who remind me to see the ordinary as extraordinary. I'm grateful for these lessons, for David, Sam & Yael, who light up my life.

---

What ideas about children have you gained? I think I could probably write a whole new list to add on...

Why Didn't I Think of That?

aka "Why I'm not a millionaire from animal-shaped rubber bands"

Have you seen these?

Can someone please explain how rubber bands shaped like animals, cars, and other shapes make for exciting and highly necessary bracelets for small children?

And WHY?

But the joy...in a $2 bag of rubber bands....
might just be worth it.

Take Your Daughters and Sons to VOTE!

I do love this video.

But truthfully -- I want to take ALL my children to vote, not just my daughter. I need to show all my children how important I believe this act of voting is.

Now...don't forget to vote!

P.S. I'll be back blogging regularly, I promise. Stay tuned...plus a big giveaway to come to thank you all for sticking with me for the holidays!!!

I ♥ Amazon.com

Did you know how useful Amazon.com is? I've actually written about this before, how much I love the "wish list" feature. (even my kids have wish lists on Amazon!)

But there are other great things you can do with Amazon as well.

I have a Prime membership, which makes 2-day shipping free (well, I pay the fee for it upfront, basically). I use it for diapers. I've bought food items to send to soldiers abroad. I buy all sorts of miscellaneous things available from my favorite online store! The Prime membership also makes it easy and inexpensive to send gifts because I don't pay for shipping. (You can send a $10 gift and only spend the $10 you wanted to spend!)

I also use it for recommendations. I love the feature that when you are looking at a book, you get other books that you might like to read too!

I also have a collection of Listmania lists that I've written.

Getting Ready to Travel to Israel
Great Chanukah Books
Great Jewish Children's Books
What's Next to Read With My 5-Year-Old
Books I've Read with my 5-Year-Old

I also have on "so you'd like to guide...": So You'd Like to Lead a Great Passover Seder

I think that these are a great way to "share the wisdom" that we have all gained in a creative and interesting way. I love to look at other people's lists to see what to read or research.

The prices are right, the orders come quickly, and I love shopping on Amazon!
(Plus I hear rumors that maybe...occasionally....the Amazon CEO "grants" wishlists. So make sure you have one and that it has that big beautiful camera that you really want...and the sewing machine you've been drooling over....it never hurts! Okay, it's probably an urban myth. But it makes me happy.)

What works for you?

I want to be like Dad...BSM

Obviously, our children want to be like us. They want to do what we do and have what we have. I know that my children (all of them!) think my Blackberry is the coolest toy in the house. There is great power here. Even without realizing it, I have taught them something about what I value. Do I teach them that the Blackberry takes Mommy away from them, or do I teach them that it helps us connect to the people that we love? I hope for the latter, and I think I'm doing alright when my 2-year-old just want to call his grandparents whenever he takes my phone. But it is an awesome responsibility knowing that these little people emulate my every move.

My husband loves to play video games. Therefore, my children want to play with the controllers. These controllers, they know, are important in some way. They don't know exactly what they do, but they want them!

Here is Yael, enjoying the controller that her dad has let her play with, while in th background, he plays his game.



Just for good measure...I did a little editing of another one of these shots. What do you think?



For more Best Shot Monday, go here.

Stay tuned...beginning next Monday is the All-Green, All-Trees, All-Week Celebration of Tu B'Shevat, the Birthday of the Trees!

Wish Lists on Amazon

This year has been very stressful for all of us parents of small children. The recalls of all the different toys have made me question the safety of so many toys. Like many of you, I am always seeking to find the "safest" things for my kids.

That's all well and good when I'm the one buying the presents.

But what about other people? There are so many grandparents, aunties, friends, etc, who want to buy gifts for my children -- they are kind and well-meaning, but don't always pay attention. (Some do, and for them I am grateful!) In addition, people don't really always know how to buy age appropriate gifts, or what my children are interested in (what is a 9-month-old interested in, anyway, besides chewing on the wrapping paper?)...

So in walks the Amazon Wish List. For a few years, I actually had separate wish lists for my kids on Amazon. Each of them had a log-in that I created, and I set up lists for others to view and buy the "right" stuff for my kiddos. Recently, however, Amazon opened up their wish-list feature, and you can now have multiple lists -- so I moved the kids' lists under my list and closed their accounts (it was really confusing for me because they were all under my email address). The only downside of having them all safely settled under my account is that they're no longer separately searchable.

I suppose if your kids were older you could have them help you create their list or even make their own account and list. For now, I'm still happy to guide gift-givers to my kids.

That's what works for me!

Check 'em out...
David's Wish List
Sam's Wish List
Yael's Wish List

and of course, my Wish List.

But make sure to check out my entry into Melanie's Holiday Gift Carnival -- lots of ideas here for creative charitable giving.

While you're visiting Amazon, check out my Listmania lists and So You'd Like To Guides...

See more Works for Me Wednesday here!

Before I had children...

I'm grateful for my children because....

1. Before I had children, I thought that the best thing in the world was sleeping in. Now I know that the best thing in the world is waking up to a giggly voice telling stories to a little sister or brother in the morning.

2. Before I had children, I thought that the best food was served in fine restaurants. Now I know that the best thing to eat is tofu hot-dog roll-ups slathered in ketchup, served with tater tots. ("My favorite food, Mom!")


3. Before I had children, I thought I liked taking my husband out to the movies on a Saturday night. Now I know that what I really like is cuddling with him on the couch, watching a movie from Netflix and knowing that all the children are snug in their beds and I'm not paying for a babysitter!

4. Before I had children, I thought that breakfast was cereal with milk. Now I know that bananas are an absolute human necessity and when they're not around, we all suffer. Oh, and coffee too.

5. Before I had children, farm animals were an interesting curiosity. Now I am fully aware of the noises, habits, and textures of each kind of animal. Especially pigs. And horses.

6. Before I had children, I thought naps were for babies. Now I know that naps are for babies...and toddlers and preschoolers and, most importantly, mommies and daddies.

7. Before I had children, I saw construction zones and sites as a noisy nuisance. Now they are infinite sources of joy and interest. I can identify diggers and rollers and cranes with ease.

8. Before I had children, the arrival of lights and sirens meant that I had to pull over. Now I have to pull over and cheer for the police!

9. Before I had children, holidays were times to delve deep into study and prayer, celebrating in the most spiritual fashion possible. Now I learn new things each year about the holidays as I consider new and different ways to share them with my children and make them relevant and exciting.

10. Before I had children, the camera was taken out for special occasions. Now I know the importance of recording as many "ordinary moments" as possible. I know that each of those ordinary moments is actually a special occasion.


11. Before I had children, grocery shopping was just a part of life. Now it's an important part of each week, devoted to ensuring that the food I buy for my kids is the best for them. And when they come along? It becomes a math lesson, a social justice lesson, a nutrition lesson, a religious lesson, a behavior lesson, and a personal finance lesson. Before I had children, I couldn't imagine filling a grocery cart to the top. Now I sometimes consider a second cart!

12. Before I had children, I liked to keep my car clean and didn't understand how cars could get so dirty. Now that I have children, I know that it's a losing battle against graham cracker crumbs, sweaters, toys, sippy cups, juice boxes, strollers, carseats....and I still don't understand how my car gets so dirty!

13. Before I had children, I thought that children were important, but I never imagined what my life would really be like. Now, I can't imagine my life without them. I can't imagine what I would be like if I didn't have these little people who daily teach me the joys of life and who remind me to see the ordinary as extraordinary. I'm grateful for these lessons, for David, Sam & Yael, who light up my life.

Written as part of MamaBlogga's November Group Writing Project. You too can participate!

See more Thursday Thirteen here.


Happy birthday to my wonderful Sam...2 years old today! I can't believe it. Where has the time gone....the days might go slowly but the years zip by!

Great Jewish Children's Books

There's a wonderful organization called the PJ Library, which provides Jewish children's books on a monthly basis to children. It's not national yet, but working on it. The idea, however, is fantastic for parents and grandparents. One way to encourage Jewish life is to encourage Jewish reading.

This is a great way for long-distance grandparents to stay active in the Jewish lives of their grandchildren too. One idea is to buy 12 books, one per month, and send them out monthly with a little note to your grandchildren. Feeling ambitious? Record yourself reading them onto a CD (use your computer for this one) and tuck the CD into the book. Now you have a personalized audio book perfect for your grandchildren, and what a great heirloom for them to hold onto -- Bubbie or Grandpa's voice recorded!

Not sure where to start? Check out the PJ Library's websitefor their list, or see this Listmania List I put together on Amazon (you can just add the whole list to your shopping cart, and no, don't get any kickbacks).

Happy Reading!