Friday, December 3, 2010

Readiness: The First Parenting Lesson

39 weeks and a little of my office
This was the status I posted on Facebook yesterday:

And many people responded to me with various "tried and true" methods for bringing on labor. One of which was wasabi on toast....

But that isn't exactly what I was hoping for. I don't really know what I'm hoping for.

About a month ago, I wrote this post, in which I said (weird to be quoting yourself, isn't it?)

Nope. I'm not ready cuz the baby's not ready. When the baby's ready, I'll know...that will be called labor. Until then, I'm here and enjoying every minute of this pregnancy.

And it's still true, I still agree with myself.

I think that the most wonderful Jewish wisdom and tradition is not to say "mazel tov" to a pregnant woman, but instead to say "b'sha'ah tova" - not to say "congratulations" but instead to wish her a "good hour." May the baby come when it's good and ready.

Which is really defined as the first lesson in parenting that we as parents receive. Our lack of control over every aspect and element of pregnancy translates exponentially into the lack of control we eventually have over many aspects of our children's personalities, physical traits, skills and abilities. Aside from the usual "man plans, God laughs" idea of it all, there is a deep lesson in this for us to learn to "let go" and figure out what's really important and worth stressing over.

From the very very very beginning.

So the bottom line is? Just because I am ready to have the baby, just because I have all my ducks lined up in neat, pretty, smiley little rows, doesn't mean that the baby is ready. I always say that children walk when they're ready, children talk when they're ready...and they emerge into the world at their time of readiness as well.

I just need to remember it and live it.


Sara said...

I love the parenting lesson.

Good luck with your positive attitude from a mom who went 42 weeks with a baby who still didn't want to come out at that point! :)

mother in israel said...

Beshaah tovah! All pregnancies are only temporary--looking forward to hearing good news.

Batya said...

Just enjoy it all in good health!
בשעה טובה
G-d will choose the time.

Anna said...

You go girl!!!

kyooty said...

Yes enjoy those moments that are just for you and baby, because when baby is ready? you have to share :)

Kathy D said...

Amen! I have been on bedrest for the last 8 weeks and at my witts end. We need to get this baby to 36 weeks, so another good 8 days. Today has been a hard day for me and your post was a good reminder that it's not about me, it's about our baby girl and what she needs.

Unknown said...

As a mother of four, I've been there many, many times. I always think the babies are 'ready' at around 36 weeks but they always like to hang in there until they're ready (41 weeks!). Good luck. Patience is a virtue :)