Books Read in 2014

For many years, I've kept track of the books I read.

The real reason that I do it is because often people say, "what should I read?" and then my mind goes blank and I can't think of a single title.

So I keep a list.

Reading is an escape for me...a chance to move into a whole new world and immerse myself there...a chance to learn something new...a chance to explore places and times in which I've never lived or even been...since I was a young child I've always had a book in my hand. Okay, now it's a Kindle...same idea.

Here's this year's list, somewhat out of order, since I started keeping the list on Goodreads but I can't figure out how to get it in order! Anyway, follow me over there for regular updates!

This year, I put stars by the ones that I would especially recommend.

1. The Silence of Bonaventure Arrow by Rita Leganski*
2. The Snow Child by Eowyn Ivey
3. Lost Lake by Sarah Addison Allen* (she's one of my favorites)
4. Solving for Ex by LeighAnn Kopans*
5. The Wanting by Michael Lavigne
6. The Signature of All Things by Elizabeth Gilbert
7. Wonder by R. J. Palacio*
8. Rose Under Fire by Elizabeth Wein
9. Forgive Me, Leonard Peacock by Matthew Quick
10. One Girl's Story by John L. Smith
11. The Maid's Version by Daniel Woodrell
12. The Interestings by Meg Wolitzer
13. Teeth by Hannah Moskowitz
14. Still Writing by Dani Shapiro
15. Love, Loss and What I wore by Ilene Beckerman
16. The Winter Horses by Philip Kerr
17. The Path of Names by Ari Goelman
18. The Department of Lost and Found by Allison Winn Scotch
19. A Tale for the Time Being by Ruth Ozeki
20. We Are All Completely Beside Ourselves by Karen Joy Fowler
21. The Here and Now by Ann Brashares
22. Reality Boy by A.S. King
23. Fugitive Colors by Lisa Barr
24. Still Life with Breadcrumbs by Anna Quindlen
25. The Geography of You and Me by Jennifer E. Smith*
26. Goodnight June by Sarah Jio*
27. The Storied Life of A.J. Fikry by Gabrielle Zevin*
28. The Eleventh Plague by Jeff Hirsch
29. The One by Kiera Cass
30. Life's That Way by Jim Beaver
31. We Were Liars by E. Lockhart*
32. I am Pilgrim by Terry Hayes*
33. Orphan Train by Christina Kline Baker
34. Earth Awakens by Orson Scott Card
35. All the Light We Cannot See by Anthony Doerr*
36. The Husband's Secret by Liane Moriarty
37. The Given Sacrifice by S. M. Stirling
38. Chestnut Street by Maeve Binchy
39. The Heist by Daniel Silva (my favorite author!)*
40. The Book of Life by Deborah Harkness
41. Saving Mozart by Yerushalmy
42. The Family by David Laskin
43. Tease by Amanda Maciel
44. Margot by Jillian Cantor
45. Tribes by Seth Godin
46. Outlander by Diana Gabaldon
47. First World Problems by LeighAnn Kopans
48. The Baker's Daughter by Sarah McCoy
49. Rare Bird by Anna Whiston-Donaldson
50. Popular by Maya Van Wagonen
51. To Rise Again at a Decent Hour by Joshua Ferris
52. Sisters by Raina Telgemeier (because Yael made me)
53. Dragonfly in Amber by Diana Gabaldon
54. Men Explain Things to Me by Rebecca Solnit
55. The Paper Magician by Charlie Holmberg
56. The Dept of Speculation by Jenny Offill
57. The Ice Cream Queen of Orchard Street by Jane Gillman
58. Henna House by Nomi Eve*
59. My Promised Land by Ari Shavit*

    60. The Invention of Wings by Sue Monk Kidd*
    61. Station Eleven by Emily St. John Mandel*

I've already started a list of books to read for 2015. As I said to my dad, "it's too long!" Oh well....there's always another book to read!

Previous years' lists are here.

Unetaneh Tokef

On Rosh HaShanah it is written

on Yom Kippur it is sealed:

The calendar is my enemy and my friend. These days pass swiftly. Do they even matter?

How many shall pass on, how many shall come to be

who shall live and who shall die

who shall see ripe age and who shall not

We knew so many who died, those who came before us. 

But it couldn't be us, right? It couldn't happen in our house....

who shall perish by fire and who by water

who by sword and who by beast

The fire of radiation, the days and days of baths.

The needles of spinal taps and the wee bacterial beasties....

who by hunger and who by thirst

who by earthquake and who by plague

who by strangling and who by stoning

Watching as he got thinner and thinner, 

his very bones consumed by disease.

The foundations of our universe rocked....

The ground buckled and shook and threatened to swallow us whole. 

who shall be secure and who shall be driven

who shall be tranquil and who shall be troubled

Neverending worry, waiting, watching, wondering....

when will the end come? What are we waiting for? 

Will it be painful? Will we watch him suffer?

Will it be quiet and soft, will he just quietly....go?

who shall be poor and who shall be rich

So many times we realized....no amount of money or power or influence can buy what we really want.

So many gifts eased our way. So much generous love cared for us each day.

And yet...in the end...we are all the same.

who shall be humbled and who exalted

Was I too cocky? Did I take my blessings for granted? Did I revel just a little bit too much in the absolute gorgeous fullness of my beautiful four? Did I thrill just a little bit too much to the delight of my children's limbs entangled in a tickle fight, filling my home with noise and laughter and wonder? Did I believe that we were invincible....that nothing could touch us? 

But repentance, prayer and charity temper judgment's severe decree.

Ah, yes. Can it be? Did we escape something far more horrible? 

Could there have been a different, more terrible way that things could have gone?

Or perhaps, this year, it's God's turn for a little repentance and my turn for a little judgment.

#blogElul 29: Return

Today is the last day of Elul.
The last day of 5774.
The last day of the last year in which Sam lived.
And I can't quite get myself to the end.
Obviously, it will come. The time will tick by, the calendar will flip over, and 5775 will be here.
Will I ever be ready for another year to come in?
Will I ever feel the press of time without wishing I could stop it, and return, go back, to the days before?
Time moves forward.
The world carries on.
And we carry him in our hearts....into this new year and for always.

I feel just as fragile now as I did when we turned the calendar over to 2014.
And so I'll say the same thing:

...So we face 5775...our first Rosh HaShanah without Sam.
I am paralyzed when I think of all that he will miss. I am overwhelmed and breathless when I imagine the future and he's just not there. Yet I know that we will awaken each day, and we will move forward, even if it feels like we're slogging through a thick fog, even if it feels like we're just moving for the sake of moving, even if it feels like we're faking every moment...we will keep going.
5775, here we come. Be gentle on us, please.

Photo by Martha Abelson

#blogElul 27: Intend {Guest Post}

#BlogElul Guest Post by Rabbi Stephanie Alexander

Rabbi Jack Riemer relates the story of three demons who set out to corrupt human beings, and then come back together to compare their results. The first one describes his approach: “I tell people that there is no God. But it doesn’t work. People are too smart. They see the wonders of the world and they don’t believe me.” The second one says: “I tell people that there is a God, but that She didn’t give the Torah. But it doesn’t work. People are too smart. They look into the Torah and see how much wisdom it contains, and they don’t believe me.”

Then the third one says: “I tell people that there is a God and that She gave the Torah. But then I say to them, ‘What’s the rush? You have time to do what God wants tomorrow.’ And that almost always works.”

The best of intentions can bring out our worst.

At this time of new beginnings, perhaps we can learn from the first beginning. “Vayomer Elohim y’hi or, va-y’hi or – God said: Let there be light, and there was light.” According to the great sage, Maimonides (in his philosophical dictionary of the Torah), “Vayomer” means God “thought” or “planned.” A thought, a plan, an intention, and then – Bam! – the thing itself.

No, we can never fully imitate God … but that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t try. This year may we work to shorten the gap between intention and implementation. And when the creative, helpful, noble deed is done, may we too have that wonderful moment of realization: “And it was good.”

________________________________________

Stephanie M. Alexander has the honor and privilege of being called mom, spouse and rabbi – three simple titles whose terseness belies worlds of joy, challenge and fulfillment.

Stephanie likes the idea of the beach more than the place itself, and prefers to travel by book as opposed to plane, train or automobile. She lives with her husband, son and adorable Cockapoo (who’s really a monster) in Charleston, SC – a city rich in beauty, charm … and stories. Her blog can be found at http://storiedlifeillustrated.wordpress.com

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The Jewish month of Elul, which precedes the High Holy Days, is traditionally a time of renewal and reflection. It offers a chance for spiritual preparation for the Days of Awe. It is traditional to begin one’s preparation for the High Holy Days during this month with the Selichot, the prayers of forgiveness. We look to begin the year with a clean slate, starting anew, refreshed. All month, along with others, I'll be blogging a thought or two for each day to help with the month of preparation... I will be blogging here, and sharing #Elulgram photos on the same themes at imabima.tumblr.com. Follow me on twitter @imabima for all the #BlogElul posts, not only mine but others' as well! Read more about #BlogElul here.

#BlogElul 25: Begin {Guest Post}

#BlogElul Guest post by Kim Phillips

Three women-friends of a certain age spend a day at a friend’s lake house. He tells us there is a great cliff for jumping into the lake, that we should take the boat over there. We do, and we scramble up the hill like not-so-young she-goats. The cliff is about 30 feet high but, from the top, looks like we’ll be jumping off the Empire State Building. Two of us walk up to the edge and immediately decide against it. The third friend never hesitates—just walks straight to the edge and steps off. Huge splash. What’s a gal to do? We jump. It was so much fun we did it over and over, just like kids.

I teach adult Hebrew and am always in awe of my students. Learning a new language gets harder as we get older, and Hebrew is a bit more challenging than most: it reads from right to left, has a whole different alphabet, and operates on system of word-roots that are somewhat inexact and hard to translate. But adult learners are tentative for other reasons. Unlike kids, who are a bit more absorbent and who understand that they haven’t had an opportunity to know a thing, adults are fearful. Shouldn’t I know this already? What if I look like a dummy? This is the self-talk.

Moses sent scouts into Canaan, wanting to know “what kind of country it is, are the people who dwell in it strong or weak?” (Num. 13:18) The midrash says that if the inhabitants of a land live in the open, it shows they are strong; living in a fortress is a sign of fear.

It is Elul. We are poised on the brink. This year, what will we do? Will we remain on the edge, or will we have new physical and spiritual experiences? Will our bravery be an example for someone else?

Go ahead: jump.

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Kim Phillips is a Nashville-based Judaica artist, marketing consultant, certified pararabbinic and mom to Jacob the Most Awesome Cat. Her work and blog are at www.hebrica.com.

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The Jewish month of Elul, which precedes the High Holy Days, is traditionally a time of renewal and reflection. It offers a chance for spiritual preparation for the Days of Awe. It is traditional to begin one’s preparation for the High Holy Days during this month with the Selichot, the prayers of forgiveness. We look to begin the year with a clean slate, starting anew, refreshed. All month, along with others, I'll be blogging a thought or two for each day to help with the month of preparation... I will be blogging here, and sharing #Elulgram photos on the same themes at imabima.tumblr.com. Follow me on twitter @imabima for all the #BlogElul posts, not only mine but others' as well! Read more about #BlogElul here.

#blogElul 23: Love {guest post}

Once in a while, I consciously remember love is a verb. Feelings--such as happy, sad, grumpy—are adjectives. But love is a verb and verbs require action.

Sometimes, I ask what action love requires. And the answers used to come clearly and quickly. Hugging. Encouraging. Sewing. Laughing. And sometimes even cooking (sigh).

But recently the answers seem more varied than I used to think. Because waiting is an action. So are standing patiently and holding my breath. Keeping silent is an action too.

I’m an active person. I run. I go. I do. But children get older and so do parents. And love asks more.

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Ellen, Phyllis's wise and wonderful cousin, wrote this and then read it back and realized just how middle-aged she really is. (This bio is a mashup of my bio and hers!)

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The Jewish month of Elul, which precedes the High Holy Days, is traditionally a time of renewal and reflection. It offers a chance for spiritual preparation for the Days of Awe. It is traditional to begin one’s preparation for the High Holy Days during this month with the Selichot, the prayers of forgiveness. We look to begin the year with a clean slate, starting anew, refreshed. All month, along with others, I'll be blogging a thought or two for each day to help with the month of preparation... I will be blogging here, and sharing #Elulgram photos on the same themes at imabima.tumblr.com. Follow me on twitter @imabima for all the #BlogElul posts, not only mine but others' as well! Read more about #BlogElul here.

#blogElul 22: Dare

Dear Abraham,
How dare you????
I would never
ever
ever
ever
have given him up willingly.
No matter what God said.
No matter what anyone said.
Sincerely,
Me

The Jewish month of Elul, which precedes the High Holy Days, is traditionally a time of renewal and reflection. It offers a chance for spiritual preparation for the Days of Awe. It is traditional to begin one’s preparation for the High Holy Days during this month with the Selichot, the prayers of forgiveness. We look to begin the year with a clean slate, starting anew, refreshed. All month, along with others, I'll be blogging a thought or two for each day to help with the month of preparation... I will be blogging here, and sharing #Elulgram photos on the same themes at imabima.tumblr.com. Follow me on twitter @imabima for all the #BlogElul posts, not only mine but others' as well! This year, I'm not doing a linky or anything like that -- I'm conserving energy! So be sure to tag your posts on Twitter and Facebook so I can catch them with my alerts....

#blogElul 21: Change

A year ago on the Jewish calendar, on the 21st of Elul, was a very big day of change for our family.

Change
is
hard
painful
and enormous

and yet sometimes
exciting
enriching
and full of blessing.

Sometimes
I'd rather
just
stay
the
same.

The Jewish month of Elul, which precedes the High Holy Days, is traditionally a time of renewal and reflection. It offers a chance for spiritual preparation for the Days of Awe. It is traditional to begin one’s preparation for the High Holy Days during this month with the Selichot, the prayers of forgiveness. We look to begin the year with a clean slate, starting anew, refreshed. All month, along with others, I'll be blogging a thought or two for each day to help with the month of preparation... I will be blogging here, and sharing #Elulgram photos on the same themes at imabima.tumblr.com. Follow me on twitter @imabima for all the #BlogElul posts, not only mine but others' as well! Read more about #BlogElul here.

#blogElul 20: Judge

The Divine Judge.

That's the "judgment" that we talk about on the High Holy Days.

God as Divine Judge.

One of the days for Rosh HaShanah is Yom haDin, the Day of Judgment.... "when even the hosts of Heaven are judged."

I have no idea how I'm going to read those words this year.
I have no idea how I'm ever going to consider God to be a fair and true Judge.
I have no idea how justice plays into it at all.

But I've got the rest of my life to ask the questions.
Which doesn't seem fair at all.

The Jewish month of Elul, which precedes the High Holy Days, is traditionally a time of renewal and reflection. It offers a chance for spiritual preparation for the Days of Awe. It is traditional to begin one’s preparation for the High Holy Days during this month with the Selichot, the prayers of forgiveness. We look to begin the year with a clean slate, starting anew, refreshed. All month, along with others, I'll be blogging a thought or two for each day to help with the month of preparation... I will be blogging here, and sharing #Elulgram photos on the same themes at imabima.tumblr.com. Follow me on twitter @imabima for all the #BlogElul posts, not only mine but others' as well! Read more about #BlogElul here.

#BlogElul 19: Ask {guest post}

BlogElul guest post by Rabbi Anne Persin

Ask

When I first started writing this post, I kept focusing on the curiosity type of asking.  What it means to ask others about themselves, to be asked about yourself. I have always tended to be a curious sort and I have always been delighted to have others be curious about me.  So, this concept of asking was not only easy for me but welcomed!

But what about the other kind of asking?

What about the request kind of asking?

The request kind of asking has never been all that easy for me - asking for things... for help, for time, for people, for attention.  Deep inside the recesses of my mind, I have convinced myself that I should be able to handle things on my own.  If I truly needed something that would be one thing, but what more do I need than food, clothing, shelter?  Back in those recesses everything else are merely wants!  Of course, consciously, I know full well that I need a lot more than the just the basics.  All of us need help, time, people, attention.  All of us need care, consideration, forgiveness, love.  If only we were able to ask for all of that.

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Rabbi Anne Persin is my very good friend and one of the best tantes my kids could ever have.

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The Jewish month of Elul, which precedes the High Holy Days, is traditionally a time of renewal and reflection. It offers a chance for spiritual preparation for the Days of Awe. It is traditional to begin one’s preparation for the High Holy Days during this month with the Selichot, the prayers of forgiveness. We look to begin the year with a clean slate, starting anew, refreshed. All month, along with others, I'll be blogging a thought or two for each day to help with the month of preparation... I will be blogging here, and sharing #Elulgram photos on the same themes at imabima.tumblr.com. Follow me on twitter @imabima for all the #BlogElul posts, not only mine but others' as well! Read more about #BlogElul here.

#blogElul 18: Pray {guest post}

#BlogElul Guest Post by Stacey Robinson

I am reminded of the midrash of King David and the origins of the Adonai S'fatai, which is the prayer we say at the beginning of the Amidah. David, the rabbis tell us, had sent a man to his certain death, all for the sake of satisfying his own selfish desires.  The man, Uriah, was a general in David’s army, and David sent him to the front, knowing that it was certain death. But he really wanted Uriah’s wife, Bathsheba. And he was king, so he gave the orders. On the night before the battle, he had a sudden attack of conscience, and so sent Uriah a note, telling him to return home. But Uriah was an honorable man, and he would not be dissuaded by David’s sudden change of heart.  He was killed in battle, along with most of his troops.  David got word of Uriah's death just before evening prayers.

What was he to do?  He knew that he would have to talk to God, to ask forgiveness.  But-- and here's the hard part-- David's fear: what if God said no?  What if God refused?  David ran into the fields, running from himself, from his fear, from God, until he could run no farther. How could he ask God for forgiveness, when he couldn't forgive himself?  He stopped, just as the setting sun hit the horizon, staining the sky with the colors of royalty: crimson and gold and deep purple, and he cried out, in his fear and longing "Adonai s'fatai tiftach ufid yagid t'hilatecha..."

God, open my lips, that I may declare your praise...

And with that prayer-- filled to its very edges with pain and humility and hope and despair, David was forgiven.

Well sure, the voices in my head whisper, God can forgive David.  Let's face it: he's, well, David.  His very name means "beloved." And me? Not even close. All bets are off.

It is my greatest longing, my unrequited quest-- to be redeemed. To be forgiven. To dance in the palm of God's hand. To believe, if even for an instant, that though I may not be David, though I may not be Beloved, I may find a small piece of that forgiveness, and that that may be enough.

I have spent a lifetime yearning for redemption. I have spent an eternity of lifetimes searching for God. I have declared my disbelief in God even as I feared that God didn't believe in me. I have shouted my rage and demanded answers and whispered my praise.  And the thing I come back to, again and again, like a gift of impossible and breathless wonder--

It is not what I pray that matters.  It is that I pray.

For all my yearning, for all my longing, what I don't ever realize is that I am redeemed. I have not been abandoned by God. Neither have I been forgotten. David had it right in his psalms: we cry out to God and so we are healed. He didn't tell us "God only hears the pretty words.  Therefore, speak only of love and praise, for only then will you be heard." No, it's pretty clear: we find healing and redemption because we cry out in our anger and our fear. 

There was a time when I stood in prayer and my knees began to buckle from the weight of my sorrow, when I was filled with an ocean of pain and loss, when I wanted to curse God-- when I did curse God-- there were hands that reached out to hold me steady, and strong arms to carry me through to firm ground.  When I demanded of God, to God-- where the hell are You?  I was answered: here.  No farther than the nearest heartbeat, in the still small voices of all those around me, who showed me, again and again, that I was not alone.  Even in my pain, even in my doubt and despair, I was not alone.

In my faith, in my prayer, what I find, again and again-- what I am given, again and again, is grace.  What I get is strength and courage to face what life has placed in front of me in that moment...even if that thing is the death of my beloved brother.  My faith is not a guarantee that I will never know fear, or that only good and happy things will happen.  My faith, my prayer allows me to put one foot in front of the other and know that I will be carried through.  And in that exact moment, the moment I take that step, I am enough and I am redeemed.  And in that moment, I dance in the palm of God's hand.

  ________________________________________

Stacey is a poet, an essayist, a mom, stumbling about, searching for God and a decent cup of coffee. Her digital home is at http://staceyzrobinson.blogspot.com.

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The Jewish month of Elul, which precedes the High Holy Days, is traditionally a time of renewal and reflection. It offers a chance for spiritual preparation for the Days of Awe. It is traditional to begin one’s preparation for the High Holy Days during this month with the Selichot, the prayers of forgiveness. We look to begin the year with a clean slate, starting anew, refreshed. All month, along with others, I'll be blogging a thought or two for each day to help with the month of preparation... I will be blogging here, and sharing #Elulgram photos on the same themes at imabima.tumblr.com. Follow me on twitter @imabima for all the #BlogElul posts, not only mine but others' as well! Read more about #BlogElul here.

#blogElul 16: Understand {Guest Post}

#blogelul Guest Post by Cantor Penny Kessler

I'm always grateful when people "like" or comment on my Facebook/Twitter posts, blog posts, and synagogue bulletin articles. But I do wonder if maybe their doing that takes the burden off them of the hard work we do as Jews, especially as we get ready for Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur. It would be as if I "liked" someone's Pinterest-pinned recipe for challah but never made one myself. Yes, I learned something about challah, but I don't have the hands-on experience. Or if someone asked me what a rose smelled like but never stopped on their own to smell the flowers.

A few weeks ago, I saw a mini pack of gum, and I haven't stopped thinking about the imprinted message since then. It struck me as a parent, a cantor and a teacher: I can explain Judaism, prayer, God, teshuvah as I understand them, but I cannot understand it - or do it - for anyone other than myself. Teshuvah is an "inside job;" every person has to do it on her own. 

________________________________________

 

Penny Kessler is the Cantor at the United Jewish Center in Danbury, CT (plus she's a mom, a wife, and a host of other things). She talks about life and such at www.cantorconfidential.blogspot.com.

 ________________________________________

The Jewish month of Elul, which precedes the High Holy Days, is traditionally a time of renewal and reflection. It offers a chance for spiritual preparation for the Days of Awe. It is traditional to begin one’s preparation for the High Holy Days during this month with the Selichot, the prayers of forgiveness. We look to begin the year with a clean slate, starting anew, refreshed. All month, along with others, I'll be blogging a thought or two for each day to help with the month of preparation... I will be blogging here, and sharing #Elulgram photos on the same themes at imabima.tumblr.com. Follow me on twitter @imabima for all the #BlogElul posts, not only mine but others' as well! Read more about #BlogElul here.