Friday, August 9, 2013

#blogelul 3: blessings

I want so desperately to write a sweet flowery post about the blessings in my life.

There are, in fact, so many. 

But my heart is just a bit heavy as I try so hard not to focus on what's missing. 

Sam was supposed to be at camp this week. His first time as a "real camper" at OSRUI. It was to be our triumph, our "yes, we survived this" moment. When I registered him, I cried and said a blessing. 

Instead, this is what he is doing today:

So many of my friends' kids are there right now. His cohort, his group. I offer and wish blessings for their time at camp. May they find all the love in that holy place that we find. 

So where is the blessing in this? Is it in the maturity he's gaining? In the strength he is finding in places he didn't know he had? Will the blessing be in the inspiration this gives to him and someday he will be the one to find the cure? 

It is hard to talk of blessings when things don't feel that way. 
But I know that it is the right way. I know that finding blessings (and silver linings) and giving blessings and saying blessings are the way to let God in. They are the way to remind myself (and those around me) that we are not alone. 

And so we bless. 

The Jewish month of Elul, which precedes the High Holy Days, is traditionally a time of renewal and reflection. It offers a chance for spiritual preparation for the Days of Awe. It is traditional to begin one’s preparation for the High Holy Days during this month with the Selichot, the prayers of forgiveness. We look to begin the year with a clean slate, starting anew, refreshed. All month, along with others, I'll be blogging a thought or two for each day to help with the month of preparation... I will be blogging here, and sharing #Elulgram photos on the same themes at Follow me on twitter @imabima for all the #BlogElul posts, not only mine but others' as well! This year, I'm not doing a linky or anything like that -- I'm conserving energy! So be sure to tag your posts on Twitter and Facebook so I can catch them with my alerts....

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